Alright look. I think it’s time you know the truth.
I’m not a baker.
Not like I burn shit or anything, it just… never comes out right. I don’t know why, I mean…I can read. I know what a teaspoon is. Baking just always seems to defeat me.
Case in point, today.
I bought fresh lump crab meat and opted to make Crab Salad. It takes about 10 mins to make and can be served in a variety of ways – put it in a cute bowl and spread it over a cracker, toast up 2 buns and make a crab sandwich or toss it with lettuce and literally have a salad. It is a fucking team player.
I settled on the first and chose to add curry because it gives the sweet Maine crab some oomph, yet it’s subtle enough to act as a seasoning instead of a main component, like say in a curried stew.
I also decided to try making an accompanying cracker even though I KNOW I CAN’T BAKE. Why didn’t you just buy some fucking crackers, Dana?!
Because I wanted to challenge myself and what’s wrong with that? It’s CRACKERS! Little flour, some egg whites, bah-buh-bop, done.
How hard can it be, right?
So I found this recipe for Tuiles and I followed that shit to a T. Seriously! The only exception I made was to substitute the 2 tbsp of Rice flour it called for, with 2 tbsp all-purpose flour. It already requested 1 cup all-purpose flour, what does 2 tbsp more matter?? I didn’t have any Rice flour!
All I know is that it took FOREVER for the Tuiles to turn golden brown, I mean, I wasn’t baking a fucking cake! And when they finally were done, they weren’t the thin, light wafers I thought they’d be. They were harder and thicker than I was expecting which made them tough to bite into. Edible… but not up to my standards, you know what I mean?
I was looking for a nice crunch to compliment the crab and I think this was a miss. Maybe the rice flour did matter. I don’t know.
Hey, can someone find out? I’ll write the recipe verbatim but like, can someone bake these things and tell me what the real outcome should be??
Curried Crab and Tuiles
What I Used
Tuiles: 1 cup All-Purpose Flour. 2 tbsp Rice Flour. 1 tbsp Sugar. ½ tsp Salt. ¼ tsp ground Pepper. ¼ tsp ground Nutmeg. 2/3 cup Egg Whites. ½ cup Heavy Cream. 8 tbsp Unsalted Butter (melted).
Crab: 3 tbsp Fresh Lemon Juice. 3 tbsp Sour Cream. 3 tbsp Mayo. 1 tsp Curry Powder. 12 -16 oz. Lump Crabmeat. ¼ cup diced Carrots. ¼ cup diced Tomatoes (seeded). 2 tbsp chopped Fresh Cilantro. Salt. Pepper.
What I Did
Ok, so the crab is wicked simple so start with the Tuiles.
Mix together all the dry ingredients then slowly stir in the egg whites.
Whisk in the heavy cream, then the melted butter.
Let the batter rest for 30 mins.
Pre-heat oven to 350F.
Then using a pastry brush (which I don’t own), spread the batter in slight arcs 1 ¼ in wide by 5 in long on a non-stick baking sheet.
I used wax paper sprayed down with baking oil.
Place in oven and bake until crisp and golden. About 4 mins.
Transfer to rack to cool and repeat with remaining batter.
While my final Tuiles rack was cooling, I made the Crab Salad.
In in a medium bowl, whisk together 3 tbsp lemon juice, 3 tbsp sour cream, 3 tbsp mayo and 1 tsp Curry Powder.
Next, in a small pan, sauté ¼ cup diced carrots until slightly charred. About 4 mins.
Then add the crabmeat, sautéed carrots, diced tomatoes and chopped cilantro.
Using a fork, stir gently to combine and season to taste with curry powder, salt & pepper. Go easy on the curry powder though.
Serve it anyway you want. Be creative.