Roasted Chicken

Hey so is traffic a noun or a verb?
For some strange reason, I woke up with this question on my mind.
Random, I know.
Let’s see if we can get back on track here.

Due to recent developments, it has become considerably harder to write these blog posts at work and since I chose to browse the internet over composing this last night, I have to crunch time and make this brief.

So what are we talking about here?

Roasted Chicken.

A few weeks ago, I did the All the Kings Horses shoot and by the end of that shoot, I was starving.
Like, if we don’t wrap this shit up this minute, I’m going to refer to bitch mode.
So we start packing shit up.
Breaking down tripods, snapping lenses off, zipping up cases..
We get to my car, load all that shit in it.
Car won’t start.
My baby wouldn’t start.

I wanted music for the shoot and as such, I chose to only turn off only the engine, to leave the music going.
Ol smarty-pants over here left the music running and drained my fucking battery.

Alright, I said to my girl, no worries. We’ll just flag a car down and get a jump.

During the entire shoot, cars were slowing down to stare, pulling over to watch, passerbys yelling, “What chall doing over there?” (to which I always reply “school project” – it seems to humble folks), people walking damn near behind the fucking lens to offer critique…
“Uh uh sugar, don’t stand like that. Listen, what you wanna do is..”
“Yo.. no offense homie but I think we got this.”
“What chu say?”
*serious frown* “What project yall say this is for?”

Plenty of options to get a jump, right?

Without our gear, we may as well have been shadows.
No one paid us any fucking attention.
Hang on, I gotta run to this meeting…

Ok, so here we are.
Watching people drive by us over and over again .
We didn’t bother flagging down any female drivers (because women automatically hate other women, especially over dressed ones like us) and the cars that did slow down, would shake their heads mournfully when we asked if they had cable jumpers.
I know, I KNOW – I ought to have my own jumpers. And I swear I do!
They’re just…not in my car alright?
I don’t know where they are.
I know to get some and I will.

Anyway, it’s hot as all hell out and finally I’m like – the fuck am I doing standing out here like this?
I have Roadside Assistance.
Fuck yeah!

*Drooop – that’s me speed dialing Roadside Assistance.
Hang up 3 mins later, the guy would be here to jump me in less than an hour.
I felt the ground sway and asked my girlfriend if a heavy sea was running.
Like this was it.
I was going to pass out from hunger.

I tried to look at things from the bright side. Say something positive to my friend, who was equally hungry.
“Girl, you better thank God I didn’t smoke any pot before this shoot or I’d be eating your thigh right now”

Beep! Beep!
Roadside Assistance.

Dude had us ready to go in under 5 mins.
My friend tells me as we buckle up that her buddy V lives about 3 mins away and that they have plenty food over there.
I sped off like a NASCR driver.
Parked right in front of his house.
Pulled up like I owned the joint and was there to collect rent.

He met us at the door and walked us in.
No lie when I tell you it was a FULL house.
Like his whole family was there.
Aunts, cousins, sisters, friends of the family..and us.

Introductions were made…or at least attempted because I cut V short in mid-sentence like,
“Hi everyone, listen I don’t mean to be rude but we heard you guys had food and I’m real hungry..”

People just broke out laughing and look at us with pity.
I was shooting for mercy..
One woman came around, kindly put her arms around my shoulder and pointed me to the dining room with unconcealed amusement.
I nodded gratefully and beelined for it.

I get into the dining room and every seat is filled.
I didn’t expect that.
I began my speech again, “Hi everyone, listen I don’t mean to be rude but..”

“Oh honey! Don’t you worry, let me fix you a plate!! Billy, grab me one of those plates over there! Go wash your hands honey, I’ll take care of you.”
Billy pointed to the bathroom and I headed for it with indecent haste, beaming and perspiring.

I came back to 2 open seats, with 2 large, wonderfully filled plates in front of each.
Roast Chicken was the main feature.
I dug in.
Worked through that shit with no trouble at all.

“Thank you, thank you”, I mumbled, over and over again through mouthfuls.
Benevolent smiles.
“You guys eat good around here”, I continued when I could catch my breath.
The one guy in the corner goes, “Yeah, its Sunday.”
Chewing vigorously, I nodded solemnly.
I cleared enough room in my mouth before I said, “So?”

The girl next to me laughed and explained that Sundays are the days when people spend time with their family.
Catch up with them, see what’s new…connect with people.
And since people tend to gather over food, Sunday Dinner meant time with family, around plenty of food.

Hey, I gotta wrap this up but basically I caught myself reminiscing on this Sunday Dinner recently and so this past Sunday, I made myself some Roasted Chicken.

No I did not have people over.
Yes I am a selfish bastard but I didn’t have people over because it’s Fashion Week remember?
So I had to run to an event which coincidentally, V was also at.
When we had a moment to speak, I looked him dead in the eye and without invitation said, “See you on Sunday.”


Roasted Chicken.

What I Used

1 whole chicken. 2 large handfuls Haricot Verts. 1 large handful Cilantro. 3 Shallots. 3/4 Rosemary Stalks (optional). Assorted Cherry or Grape tomatoes. Olive Oil. Smoked Paprika. Cayenne Pepper. Salt. Pepper.

What I Did

Begin by preheating the oven to 400F and making a spice rub:
– In a bowl, mix an even amount of salt & pepper.
– Shake in other spices (if you prefer) in lesser amounts.
I used smoked paprika, cayenne pepper & garlic powder.
– Rub the spice thoroughly inside the cavity of the chicken and all over the outside.
– Using twine, bind the arms to the sides of the chicken and tie the legs together.
– Roughly chop the shallots.
– Put shallots & cilantro leaves in large roasting pan.
If you have other veggies like carrots and potatoes, you can add them in at this point too.
– Place the chicken on top of shallots/vegetables.
how_to_roast_a_whole_chicken roast_chicken_recipes
– Stuff the inside of the cavity with fresh herbs.
I only had cilantro but the next time I make this, I plan to use a greater array.
bird 03

– Baste the chicken with olive oil and place in the oven to cook, breast-side up and uncovered, for 90 mins.
– If after 90 mins, you poke a fork into the bird and its juices run clear, it’s ready.
If not, give it a bit more time.
– Remove from oven and let it rest, untouched for at least 15 mins.

I used this time to address the veggies.
– Bring a med pot of salted water to boil.
– Cut the ends off the haricot verts.
bird 05
– Add the haricot verts to the pot and cook, uncovered for about 5 min.
Blanch by immediately removing them from the hot water and plunging them into ice water, then drain.
– Cut the tomatoes into bite-sized pieces.
bird 06
– Then in a large bowl, add the tomatoes and haricot verts.
– Drizzle about 1 tbsp olive oil into the bowl and season with salt & pepper.
– Mix thoroughly.
– Serve with the roasted chicken.

Roasted_Chicken_recipe ive_got_cake_blog


34 thoughts on “Roasted Chicken

  1. I like that it took you until your first sentence to get off track today. Is that a new record?
    Glad you didn’t need to resort to canibalism to sort yerself out… That’s some damn fine looking chicken right there. Looks pretty with all the herbs up its bum 🙂

  2. I love food-related stories. Sounds lovely to have a well populated Sunday meal every week. We do Sunday roasts every month or so but we’re greedy and it’s always just The Koala and I so we can have leftovers for lunch the next day.

  3. Great looking bird! And the Sunday Dinner needs to return. Or the Tuesday Dinner for that matter. I just think the time it takes to sit with someone for dinner is valuable. People know the winner of So You Think You Can Procrastinate but don’t have time for dinner. (Rant over, sorry).

  4. The barnyard pimp looks heavenly. I hooked up some Chicken Adobo and Jasmine rice last night. Also let some cucumbers, tomatoes and red onions duke it out in a make-shift vinaigrette in the fridge. After I finished horking the grub down, I went next door to slap my neighbor smoove in da mouf cuz it was so good. Be he wasn’t home …….

  5. I love your idea of ‘brief’ and I wouldn’t have shared this super looking roast chicken with anyone either. (Difficult to do with children underfoot, they appear to need continuous feeding, what’s up with that?)

  6. It looks great! The tomatoes add the perfect colors; you always make it all look so pretty. Enjoyed your rant and LOL’d the entire post. I’m sorry about the dead battery situation but hopefully you have learned your lesson! 😊

    Maybe set a timer on your cell to turn on your car every 40 minutes for like 10 to keep a charge. Or maybe just get a boom box for shoots?

  7. Did you put the jumper cables in your car? Do IT!
    Love roast chicken! I plan to do our herbes en Provence chicken next week, so damn good! We’re those tomatoes good? We can’t get good tomatoes here so I always toast them. Yum.

    1. I’ll do it!! Taking my car in for winter tires this weekend so I’ll be sure to grab cables when I’m there.
      The tomatoes are from local Massachusetts farms and they’re so fn good!
      Where do you live where you can’t get good tomatoes?
      And by toasting them, do you mean you roast the tomatoes?

      1. Yes, I meant roasting IOS8 has a sense of humour in auto correct!
        I live in Toronto and I haven’t had a great tomato in years. Maybe I haven’t found the right market or my expectations are too high.

  8. Oh my gaw, I can’t with you, blocking your blog now (not really though – I could never) because you just make me want to eat all the time. I will be like the girl on the last episode of Below Deck “bring the food and we will come”.

    xx Cara

Go on, get it out..

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