Arugula & Peashoot Salad

fast_saladsMy skin has been breaking out a lot lately.

I’m not sure if I’m allergic to something in the air of the new building I’m working in or if it’s seasonal.
But during the workweek, it’s fucking crazy.
My skin gets real dry (even though in the cooler months, I moisturize the FUCK out of my skin) and I start itching like a crackhead.

You can’t look cute be the boss when you’re itching like a crackhead.

But then the weekend comes and by Monday, my face is baby smooth again.
But then the cycle repeats.
I don’t know what the hell is going on.My dermatologist is useless.
The last time I went to my dermatologist and told him my problems, he put on a thoughtful expression and said, “Well Dana, what do you think is wrong?”
I said, “Uh..that’s what the fuck I’m paying YOU for…”
I raised a shit storm in that office.
It ended with me demanding my co-pay back and they eventually gave it.
I don’t play around when it comes to a service I’m paying good money for.

My mother is always like, “Why don’t you come see the dermatologist I use, she’s wonderful!”
“Mom, one bad egg..”
“What…what does that mean?”
“You know…one bad egg ruins the rest…something like that. Look, mom, he tainted all doctors for me so no thank you”
“But your fathers a doctor”, she pointed out.
“Mom, c’mon, you know what I mean..”

So the dermatologist is out but I figure a good steam is the next best thing.
Remove all the toxins and stuff the natural way.
The way God intended.
I think..

So I headed to the womens gym down the street from me because they have a good thing going on.
Walked into the locker room and there’s nobody in there.
Just the way I like it.
Peeked around the corner at the steam room and the steam is already on.
So far, so good.

Sometimes I go in there and it’s not on and then it takes fucking forever to get up to speed but this time, not only is it on, it’s cranking.
Mm hmm. 2 thumbs up.

When it comes to steaming, you don’t need much instruction.
They have a bin of towels nearby, a water station to left of that and a sign above the door to the steamroom that says in big, black letters; ‘No Nudity Allowed’.

So I shed my clothes, have a quick peek at myself in the full length mirror because I’m conceited like that and head to the steamroom.
I go inside and immediately, sitting right next to the door, is a woman, completely fucking naked.

She’s got her legs spread real wide and she’s looking right at me.
Hair fucking everywhere.
Looking like Stephen Kings, Delores Claiborne.
If she crossed her legs, she’d probably start a fire.
No towel in sight.

So I’m like, “Uh, ok…?”

I go to sit down, trying not to make eye contact and the first words out of her mouth..
This woman…she goes, “It’s just us…”
I would have burst out laughing if it wasn’t so creepy but all I could think was, “Really??”

I sit down but then instantly get up to crank the dial a few more notches.
So now there’s this thick cloud of steam, right?
It’s hot as fuck but that’s ok because now I can’t see her anymore.
There’s like this divider of steam which is exactly what I wanted so I don’t have to sit there staring at my feet.

After about 90 secs the steam starts to dissipate and as it does, appearing out of the mist, is this woman.
Standing up, like…

Like, if you took a picture of somebody mid jumping-jack, except their feet were on the floor and bent at the knee a little.
And the arms were out like Bruce Lee before a fight…that’s this woman.
And she’s doing this heavy breathing and I’m just like…
I don’t know.

It’s like, lady, what are you DOING?!?
Sit down!
Wha..what’s wrong with you??
The steam’s gonna get you, you don’t have to do this slow turning, karate shit, alright?
How about some fucking etiquette around here…
Fucking A.

So then she leaves and I’m like, thank God she’s fucking gone.
I actually start laughing at how ridiculous this whole thing is but then I catch myself and sort of made like I’m coughing in case she was around the corner listening or some shit.

Anyway she leaves and I start to relax.
But then I see her locker key is still there and it’s like, oh fuck, she’s coming back.

By the way she walked out naked.
Naked as a damn newborn.

She finally comes back but by this time, I’m done.
I’ve had enough for one night.
So I’m like, “Alright, have a good day.”
She goes, “Yeah, you too.”
And I immediately go into the shower.

Ice cold shower, because that’s what closes up the pores, you know?
Close up the pores, wash away all the toxins I just sweated out.
Hopefully help rectify whatever the fuck situation is going on with my skin…
I get out and who’s standing over there by the lockers, naked as hell with that hairy bush out.
Same fucking woman.

It’s like, alright look.
You can’t walk around like this is your house.
This is not your fucking house.
I mean, why don’t you just take a dump why you’re at it?

There’s just always that one person that’s gotta fuck it up.

There’s always gotta be someone throwing up at a party.
There’s always gottaa be someone peeing in the pool.
Someone walking around, nipples pointed straight downwards like we’re on a sailboat and it’s true north except they’re true south.
There’s always that one person.

So I’m back to eating salads.
Back to cleansing from the inside out.
Because this steam thing obviously isn’t going to work out.

Arugula & Peashoot Salad

What I Used.

3 cups fresh Arugula. 1 cup fresh Peashoots. 2 tbsp Dry Sherry. 2 tbsp Balsamic Vinegar. 1 tbsp Olive Oil. Salt. Pepper. Fresh Eggs. Crushed Red Pepper.

What I Did.

Add arugula & peashoots into a large bowl.
5_min_salads Arugula_Salad_recipesMake the dressing:
2 tbsp dry sherry, 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar. 1 tbsp olive oil. Salt. Pepper.

Mix the dressing with the arugula and peashoots and let sit for 5 mins.
Use this time to poach an egg.
eggs_salad_recipesServe by placing the poached egg in the center of the salad and cracking black pepper and crushed red pepper over it.

fast_salads Arugula_Salad


81 thoughts on “Arugula & Peashoot Salad

  1. LOL! Dana, I don’t know if the intent was to be funny, and I’m sure it was a difficult situation and all but…. I’m laughing my butt off here. So anyhow, on to the skin. Just remember you need to hydrate from the inside. Plenty of water to wash those naaasty thoughts of that woman away. Plus it helps with the eczema. Too many times we neglect to stay hydrated as the temperatures cool down with the seasonal change. Bob

    1. Glad you find it funny, I was mortified.
      And the thing is, it’s not eczema. I’ve never had this problem in my life and it only occurs at work.
      Good point about the water though!
      Even though I drink at least one of those large Aqua Panna bottles during work hours and lots more afterwards (working out), I could probably drink more 😀
      So good point. I’ll keep that in mind.

      1. Please don’t think I was poking fun at the situation. I can imagine going in to find solitude and being confronted with a situation you never expected would cause quite the uneasiness. Have you started using anything different at work as far as lotion, hand sanitizer, contact with people, or maybe they switched soap in the bathroom?

      2. Oh no!!
        I know you well enough not to think that, so definitely, definitely no offense 💜💜
        I spoke to our facilities guy here and it’s just very, very dry air that blows out of these vents.
        Which explains my never-ending bout of dry eyes.
        My only solution seems to be a humidifier. So I’ll pick one up over the weekend from Home Depot.
        Meanwhile what I’m doing is laying a warm washcloth over my face every 4 hours, for a few mins at a time to open up my pies, then applying a deep moisturizing lotion, before retouching my make up.

  2. Haha! What an adventure! I haven’t tried steam, but eating salads definitely helps in my case. Problem is: I live in pâté and rillette country, with the best butcher in the country around the corner… I’ve never seen pea shoots in France, but arugula + poached egg? LOVE it.

  3. ROFLMFAO!! Dana, I almost spit coffee out of my nose!! Your discription of the “naked bush lady” has so much imagery in it that I am having to poke out my mind’s eye! You were trying to get rid of the toxins, but what about your poor eyes?!? Maybe the salad will help… Looks good enough to!

  4. Ha! I’ve never gone to a steam room (I prefer working out in the privacy of my home rather than a gym when I can at all help it) but when we were on vacation on the beaches outside Barcelona I was definitely around quite a few full-fledged naked women sunbathing. (I may have gone topless, but my bikini bottoms stayed right where they were!)

    This salad looks fabulous–runny egg yolks on salad greens are seriously one of my favorite things ever.

  5. Omg this was the best way for me to wake up I was laughing the whole way through you really know how to paint a picture with words… I’m soooooo trying this recipe tonight I love all things eggs lol… I might also be the way your office filters the air I had a huge reaction like that when I worked in an office last year and it was only on the weekdays like u as well when my dermatologist said to look into we found out that was the issue… Thank god he was isn’t useless lol hope you find a solution.

      1. I’m glad u found a solution I know exactly how frustrating it can get in a situation like that 🙂 seriously just spent three hours reading all ur blog posts haha think my boss thinks I’m insane I keep laughing do hard

      2. Hahaha!
        Quite the compliment, thanks babycakes!
        I’m in training all day over here and the air in this room is so fucking dry, i’m afraid i’ll pop my contacts out if I squeeze my eyes too hard.

  6. The recipe looks good! Omg and I couldn’t stop laughing about the story with the woman ahaha I can’t !!!😂😂

  7. Dana, you are too funny! I am picturing this whole scene! I think your skin always looks magnificent but I swear by silk pillowcases. Since I live in NYC, with all the pollution, cotton pillowcases always absorb everything. Silk is key!

    1. Ah!
      I’ve heard about silk pillow cases but only for great hair purposes.
      So ok cool, i’ll add this to my weekend to-purchase list!
      That shit keeps growing. This is what i get for putting my problems out here like this 😀

  8. Too bad about the skin issues, it sucks. Sounds like its environmental since you get better on the weekend. Have you tried taking an allergy pill?
    This salad is exactly up my alley, I adore arugula shoots, they are so perfectly delicate. And adding a poached egg (we’ve ‘talked’ about this) is so extravagant and luscious! Great way to get back on track.
    WTF with the B in the steam room? I likely would have complained to the front desk on the way out.

    1. Yes, I still take Benadryl, which is great for skin allergies.
      it helps a lot!
      Tie that with this humidifier i’m going to buy and I think i’ll be all set.
      At least I hope so.
      Or there will be hell to pay 😀
      And yes, we both like a little luscious in our life so I figured this would be up your alley too 😀

  9. Cool story bro. Thank you for sharing your discomfort and your local shrubbery.

    How come your skin always looks amazing in your photos?

    I used to get dry skin of eczema proportions but I’m starting to think (hope) that I’ve grown out of it (well, the eczema part anyway). One thing that I have been loving lately is an in-shower moisturiser. You apply it while still in the shower, rinse it off and then dry off as usually. Because it’s slippery shower time, it goes in in 2 seconds rather than the 2 minutes it takes to moisturise. I’m a bit lazy when it comes to moisturising. I always do my face, plus whatever happens to be seeing the public that day. For example if I’m wearing long pants and a sweater, only my face gets lotion.

    1. Thanks Genie,
      I think my skin always looks good because I take most of my pictures on the weekends 😀
      I used to lotion like you do but i like consistency and evenness in my skin which meant no more half-assing :p

      1. Ah yes, that makes sense. I actually haven’t noticed if my skin is better or worse in the weekends. I do find that getting enough sleep makes a huge difference. Not just skin but hair and general health.

  10. Did it start when you change the office or it has been always like that? You have the air condition there right? It drieds out your skin a lot. I would not try to detox your body by drying your skin out even more in the steam. Drink a lot any time you go there anyway. I will email you this week- Im very busy 😦

  11. Ok I see now it started when you moved there. Yes, you’re allergic to something in the office. It can be even the washing liquid the cleaning ladies use or the air condition – to be exact the filters they use in order to circulate the air.

    1. Yes, I checked with Mike, our facilities guy – he thinks it may be the filters.
      In the lab, they changed the filters every quarter. I don’t think they do so here so i will have to bring in my own equipment.
      Oh well

  12. Oh.My.God. Thanks for the food inspiration. A lack of ingredients meant I used whatever was in the fridge, spinach leaves, cucumber, shallots and avocado for the greens and I didn’t have any sherry but it was still amazing. Sadly, despite the fact I am 32 years old I had to consult Google on how to poach an egg.

    1. Talk about instant feedback!
      Love it!
      Good for you hot stuff and don’t be ashamed about googling 😀
      The other day I had to google what an apple pie looks like. I only had a vague idea. Turns out I was thinking about Apple Crumble.

  13. An adorable wee salad of greens and a googy egg. Breakfast for dinner, yeah baby. (Now I am going to go poke my eye out with a stick to get rid of the image of Bush Lady.) Look, I am a big believer in ‘having a good body image etc etc’ but in the privacy of your own home for gawds sake. 😳😁

    1. Exactly…
      I now see why celebs always have a home theater and a personal spa and all this other shit that we consider lavish.
      So they don’t have to deal with morons like this.
      You literally almost have to have these things if you wanna get away from all the crazies.
      God, why is it always me and the crazies?

  14. Bahaha. You are fucking gold.
    I can literally see this woman’s hairy bush when I close my eyes… An image I don’t really need. Still a funny story though.
    I think you may be allergic to the work week PS. That’s my professional advice. Gotta be as good as your doc, surely. 😉

    1. I’m not trying to be Betty Gossip or anything but you had to have seen this woman.
      I mean legs, spread so fucking wide apart i thought she was practicing how to give birth.
      As for my lousy dermatologist;
      You and him are applying the same level of interest in your diagnosis 😀

  15. “You can’t […] be the boss when you’re itching like a crackhead.”

    It pains me to say that you must have had an ideal, fantastic, superb experience of paid employment to seriously think such a thing ;p

  16. Ha ha, bet she was European!! An Icelandic friend of mine went to the sauna in Belfast a few years back, where she was warned by the girl at the counter that they had a couple of ‘incidents’ recently.
    Now, at that time, ‘incidents’ usually involved either explosives and/or the IRA, so my friend nervously asked what she meant by ‘incidents’. Well, apparently some continental European exchange students had gone into the sauna naked, as in n-a-k-e-d!
    My friend swallowed. Took a deep breath, then asked the girl politely what on earth you were expected to WEAR in a sauna…

Go on, get it out..

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