The most memorable thing I did yesterday was get my nails done and make Christmas Cookies.
And the nail feature is only referenced because my nails are now shiny.
Fucking glittery gold, sparkly, shiny.
Like, I don’t even need a fucking receipt.
This is proof enough.
The other thing though…
Ok, so here’s what happened.
I was up late Sat night as usual, shut up Grazza.
Which means Sunday morning I woke up late..
Like 1 pm type late.
Given that natural light only exists until 4pm in the winter over here.
AND that I had to do a style shoot,
I was a little stressed for time.
3 hours is nothing to play with.
Especially when it comes to Marta.
I’m just gonna pause here so everyone can go, “God…Ah Gad..”
Because you know Marta right?
She is my blogging sister and fellow psycho, albeit much more controlled than I.
Marta is the absolute shit and doesn’t play around when it comes to food.
Like she fucking emailed me last night telling me she was considering paying mad money to take this Food Photography Class.
She goes, “Hey…you better be working on those cookies because I think I’m going to take this class – so I can learn how to kill the food blogger game on a grand scale.”
This bitch means business.
Which is why it behooves you…and me…to make nice with her :).
And this is the second time now, she has challenged me to create my interpretation of a classic food.
The last time we played this game, we made Mussels and Fries.
And it is insane how awesome it turned out.
One of my more popular publications.
On the other hand, she and I are very much alike.
So I felt like it was time to shuffle the cards again and talk a little shit.
Because that’s what friends do…right?
We settled upon Christmas Cookies.
Which means, as soon as we made the deal, every blogger and their fucking grandma was making Christmas Cookies.
*shaking my damn head*
When it comes to Christmas traditions, I’m a bit indifferent.
I had a weird childhood when I was a kid.
Christmas wasn’t anything special.
It was ok.
My mom is always like, “You sure have a selective memory.”
And I’m always like, “Naaah…I don’t think so.”
Then she says something that makes me feel bad for saying that and I renege.
Mom – I know you’re reading this so for Christmas, I want a Memory Tracking device.
This doesn’t exist yet, I know.
I haven’t created one.
But I still want it…
And don’t worry mom, I’ll still get you that perfume you want.
No wait, that’s a drug.
Anyway these cookies.
By nature, I’m not really a sugar or a chocolate person.
So by default, I was already leaning towards something quick and light.
Because remember, time was a factor.
So I scoured Epicurious until I came across this recipe.
And I fell for it immediately.
Knowing that this has that gently sweet, gooey-in-the-middle, brownie thing going on,
And that total time invested is about 45mins, I was all over it.
My only adaptation to this recipe was eliminating Vanilla Extract.
I forgot to buy some.
And who knows what this would be like if it had it.
Go back to Epicurious for guidance on that.
I didn’t invent new shit.
I did however, double the portions and I’m glad I did because had I not,
I would have gotten about 12 cookies from this.
Doubling up gave me 24.
And since the challenge is Christmas Cookies, I served this with milk.
Coconut milk though because I’m anti-lactose .
And I mean…it’s coconut milk…
That shit is the bomb.
What I Used
2, 2oz Unsweetened Chocolate Bars. ½ cup All Purpose Flour. 1½ Stick of Unsalted Butter. 1 cup Granulated Sugar. 2 Large Eggs. ½ cup Pistachios Nuts. 1 tsp Almond Extract. 1 Pinch Salt.
What I Did
So first move around the racks of your oven so that it is in the lowest third of oven.
Then preheat to 350°F.
Lightly butter 2 baking sheets.
You’ll go through 4 in total.
In a small pot, melt the chocolate and butter under low heat until just melted.
Epicurious says to melt this in the microwave but I don’t like that shit.
Mix until smooth.
Remove from heat.
Add in the sugar and eggs.
Whisk until smooth, about 1 minute.
Add in the flour, almond extract and salt.
After about 10 mins, scoop rounded spoonfuls of the cookie batter onto the greased baking sheets.
Make sure to space them well apart because they spread easily.
Spray a separate sheet of plastic wrap lightly with nonstick spray.
Place, sprayed side down, over cookies.
Then using your fingers, lightly press each mound till it flattens just a little bit.
Remove plastic wrap.
Bake cookies, 1 sheet at a time in bottom 3rd of the oven, until slightly darker at edges and firm in center.
About 7 minutes.
Let cool on the sheet for a couple mins.
Then transfer cookies to rack to cool completely.
Her pictures make me soooo jealous.
Plus you can get a taste of Christmas all the way from Luxembourg.
Oh, and if you want to join the fun and have a little friendly, trash-talking competition, by all means shoot me an email.
Now, Dear Santa…
About that memory tracking device…