Eggs Benedict with Bacon & Whole Wheat

Eggs Benedict on Whole Wheat Toast
So I have been losing my shit in traffic a lot these days.
I lost my shit 3 fucking times already this week.
I just don’t get it.
Take last week for example..

I left work early at like 1:30p.
I get to the highway and it’s bumper to bumper traffic.
In the middle of a fucking Tuesday afternoon.

Turned on the radio. No accidents.
Pulled up Google Maps. No accidents.
WHY is there all this traffic at 1:30 on a Tuesday afternoon?

It got to the point where I literally wanted to roll down the fucking window and ask the guy next to me, “where the fuck are you going??”
Is your wife is labor?
Are you starting the night shift early?
Please tell me..whyyyy you are out here sir??

It actually made me look up the Boston population.
Like is the population exploding in this fucking city?
Because I didn’t think we were doing that bad but at some point, something clearly happened to suddenly have all these people out here.

It was brutal.

I was seriously thinking horrible thoughts about everyone around me.
Especially those people that leave like 4 car lengths in front of them.
Reealllly??
Really sir?
Do you really need all that clearance?

It was one of those times where I was like there’s not enough lighting in the world.
As far as the odds of being struck.
And we need to bring that average up.

I fucking hate traffic.
Like it’s almost worth selling my soul.
So I could just get a helicopter and avoid all this shit.
Because there’s a lot of flat places to land.
A lot of them.

Get one of those 2-seater ones.
Land wherever the fuck I want.

And what are people going to do?
If you land on their roof?
Huh?
What are they gonna do, call the tow truck?
“Ay you can’t leave that there!”
Yeah well I just did. I’ll be back in 20 mins.

You won’t even know who the fuck to call about it.
What are you going to do, call the cops?
So the two of you can stand there with your hand on your hips while he’s going, “yeah that is a helicopter…”

Wooosaaaahhh Dana, wooosaaaah.

 

Anyway, let’s plow ahead.

Over the weekend I woke up to a largely empty fridge.
Among the tiny jars of previous cooking experiments, mostly sauces, I found that I had all the ingredients to make Eggs Benedict.
And so I did.
And life was grand again.

 

Eggs Benedict with Bacon & Whole Wheat

What I Used

Few Slices bread (I used whole wheat). 2-4 Eggs. 3 Egg Yolks. ½ cup Canola Oil. ¼ cup Minced Cilantro. Several Bacon Strips.

What I Did

Make the hollandaise sauce:
Place the egg yolks in a blender.
http://ivegotcake.com
Blend on medium while slowly drizzling in the canola oil.
Shake in salt.
Continue blending until a smooth and slightly thick texture is achieved.

Cook the bacon.
eggs-benedict_for_dummies
Toast the bread.
how_to_make_hollandaise_sauce
Poach the eggs.
Sprinkle the cilantro on top.
Assemble .
Eggs Benedict with Bacon & Whole Wheat
Consume.
Eggs Benedict on Whole Wheat Toast

87 Comments

  1. I think I’d rather be teleported. No vehicles of any kind. No running out of gas. No traffic jams. Just me, broken into a gazillion pieces, traveling through space in a millisecond. But then with my luck, everyone would be doing it, and we’d be bumping into each other in that space… Parts of me would probably be mixed in with parts of someone else… and probably not the good parts of someone else… Yeah. Maybe I’ll just stay home.

    Funny, yet true post. Delicious eggs benedict! ❤

  2. 1st. I ageee with you about traffic. Your feelings are 100% valid.
    2nd. You mean to tell me my favorite brunch item is THIS EASY to make?
    3rd. I will be making this and tagging you

    😘

  3. Reblogged this on and commented:
    I always order this when I go out to brunch with my girlfriend but I never realized it was this easy to make.
    I never tried to look up how to make it and now I’m upset that I didn’t.
    I could have been cooking this at home for a lot cheaper lol.

  4. Okay, check this out. You have your baby make you a nice hot cup of herbal tea, bring it to you while you are lounging in the hot tub on a conference call, ’cause if your thinking about getting a chopper, you need to be running the show from your tub. Period!
    Oh yeah, nice eggs Dana 😉

  5. YUM! Love eggs benedict! I hear ya about the traffic, story of my life. I once got stuck with no where to go and my son was screaming bloody murder in the back seat and my dog had diarrhea everywhere. #truestory

  6. Love the sound of these; I adore eggs benedict and yours looks perfect (I never make hollandaise as I would be the only one to eat it…).
    As to traffic… ugh. Hate it! I grew up in Paris where nobody has a driver’s license, but where there are more and more cars (=> and traffic jams) every time I visit. I used to love getting on the bus, and looking around at the streets, people, shops, cars… now, whenever I get on a bus (unless it is past 11 PM), I just sit forever and hate it and myself and the rest of the planet; the people walking in the streets probably get wherever they are going so much faster than those stuck in the bus! Oh well… I’ll just have to learn to take the noisy, stinky, depressing subway instead 😀

      1. Haha! So true! When I was still living in Paris, I lived on line 13, the WORST line in Paris (ask anyone), with most accidents, delays, drunks, “technical issues” (whatever that means), and strikes. Line 13 is the reason I started taking the bus in the first place… Now I don’t know which is worse, being delayed in a packed stinky metro, or a packed stinky bus…

  7. Yum! I love eggs benedict. Ever had crabcakes eggs benedict? To die for!

    David and I commute everyday 60 miles one way 1 hour (or supposed to be) to the DC Metro area for work. It sucks, but HOV makes it much better. David always asks the same question “where are these people going?”. I always scream out “I just want to set my cruise control!!!”. Helicopters are definitely the way to go. Rant on!

    1. Oh yes!
      I’ve made crabcakes benedict a few times. i think it’s on this blog somewhere.
      Like you said, to FUCKING die for!!
      At least you two get to take the HOV lane..because like you, I wanna set my cruise control at 9 miles above the speed limit and NOT have to touch it until my exit.
      What’s so wrong with that??

  8. Ugh, traffic. Boston is like the one place in this country that I will openly admit has worse traffic than Chicago. But sometimes I get stuck on fucking Lake Shore Drive and I’m like “nobody has any worse traffic than this god-forsaken city. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to but the city center ON THE EDGE OF A GOD DAMN LAKE?!” And then I hear someone talk about Boston traffic. And everything suddenly sucks a whole lot less.

    That benedict looks amazing. Like, get in my belly now amazing.

    1. Hahaha!
      I think the only place that traffic is worse is LA.
      Oh and Atlanata.
      FUCK ATLANTA TRAFFIC.
      8 lanes of mouth-breathing morons.
      It’s amazing how my city even won the Olympic bid.
      Somebody explain to me exactly how the FUCK…
      Here I go again, lemme stop.

  9. YUM! Definitely on my to-do list. I hated traffic so much when I lived in Houston that I gave up driving and moved to a tiny podunk town in the middle of nowhere. Now I can walk to the store or to my sister’s house and I get my groceries delivered. No more screaming out the window. No more flipping off other drivers. No more road rage for me. And my blood pressure thanks me for it.

  10. LOL! That was literally me all holiday season. ‘Why are all these people here? Why are you driving? Why are you not driving? WHY?!” I couldn’t imagine true big city traffic – that must be THE. WORST.

  11. Finally I can see, that the truth just came out.You have not changed at all. What a relief!!! I was so worried recently, but I can see it was probably just one of maybe one and a half- not even two -moments of weakness- lets praise the Lord 😀 while eating your eggs of course! xx

    1. Hahaha!
      I can change, I swear I’m trying not to lose my temper so easily, I’m trying!!
      Cracking up @ “one and a half “moments of weakness.
      Have some faith sis, I’m am angel 😇

  12. I quit, well, ok,, I was asked politely to leave, my last corporate fucked up job in December, week before Christmas,, what assholes right? I have never been “fired” in my life, but I firmly believe God wants me to pursue my dream and stop dealing with those people, and by those,, I mean stupid; I can’t cure stupid, plus I believe I hated the fucking drive everyday there and back,, the worst,,,hate hate hated it!! I would start getting pissed off at 4 just thinking about it! I’d be pissed off the night before, just thinking about it, in the shower, seething about them fuckers on the road! And gee, I’m the nicest person I know,,so all this anger was so unlike me.. 🙂 I just felt so trapped in that job and my life; the traffic was a pile of shit added to the top which really amplified how bad it truly was, bachelors degree, who cares, I have one but I can’t be caged up any longer! I sure hope I can make a living doing what I love,,, cooking, and I do cook some good shit,, 🙂 thinking about some food truck ideas for the oil sites down here in south Texas,,what do you think? Hugs,,

    1. Aw that’s a bummer!
      But you’re right, you can’t be obliged to idiots…you’ll get nowhere.
      Sorta like being in fucking traffic..don’t get me started…

      Food trucks in Texas just sounds right, you know? Like…that should be where the best of ’em come from.

      So here’s to those who do what they love.
      Because they do it real fucking well.
      😀

  13. See, this is what I’m talking about. I’m going home to get ready for dinner, but now I’m thinking about breakfast. LOL. This looks so, so good! I’m going home to cook some breakfast. #NoDinnerForMe. I didn’t get past the photo, so I’ll read the post shortly. Hahaha

  14. Ahahah your stories always crack me up!! Like we are so the same in traffic like seriously your my friend in my head ahahah
    By the way this looks delicous! Never tried poach eggs

    1. hahaha!!
      Good to know I have a twin out there 🙂
      Definitely try poaching an egg,. It’s a little bit of a fine science but not hard to get the hang of it, trust me 🙂
      xxx

  15. I looooooove eggs Benedict and this looks pretty spectacular. (True story–one time I was at a place in Malden for brunch and we had to wait forever for our food…and it turned out the kitchen had run out of eggs as we saw some hapless kid run several Stop & Shop bags filled with egg cartons back into the restaurant.) As for traffic I’m way more patient with it because I don’t drive that much right now, but I get SO UPTIGHT when mass transit is delayed for any reason.

    1. Wow!
      Well hey, at least they had the smarts to go get some eggs instead of taking all egg options off the menu.
      It is brunch afterall.
      And yeah, I don’t know which is worse…the T or driving… because sometimes..*shaking my head*
      Actually, now that I think about it, I think the T is worse because at least you can get that anger out when you’re driving.
      On the T you just have to sigh loudly and look irritated,

  16. Traffic does suck! You know what you need? An Aston Martin and a driver… a cute one… that can also fly a helicopter. Solves that traffic problem right on up! LOL :). That’s what helps me. Except that my driver is Halle Berry or LeBron James (he owes me). Oh and the eggs benedict looks oh so yummy! Great post.

    1. Hahahahah!
      Now THAT would be AWESOME!!
      Seriously, if I had a helicopter, there’d be no limit to my arrogance.
      I’d land that shit in someones back yard simply because I didn’t want to cross the street.

  17. I’m not confident enough behind the wheel to rage at traffic. I imagine it comes with time. For now, I love walking home from work, smug in the knowledge I’ll get home quicker than those passing me on the road. I know, you hate me. Sometimes I wonder, maybe a social experiment, if everyone in a city or community reshuffled their jobs so everyone worked at a location that was closest to home. It seems crazy that one engineer travels east to west to get to work while another travels west to east, passing each other in traffic. I bet there could be an app for that.

    Oh I love eggs bene. Never put cilantro on it though. I love that shit.

    1. It is crazy.
      And yes, I hate you and the fact that you can walk from work to home. Like don’t…don’t even..just gimme time alright?
      And cilantro is the bees knees, if I could come back as a plant it would be either Basil or Cilantro 😀

  18. The two most evil words in the English language: rush. hour.
    I die a little every morning for my hour and fifteen minute commute and then again on the way home. Girl. I am in that F***ing car next to you riding the ass of the car in front of me and changing lanes to get the advantage.
    But then I go about my day and forget all about it – that is the beauty of it all!
    This looks delicious as always. I am mighty glad you like to cook because you make it look so easy for the rest of us. I’ll have to surprise my hubby with one of your recipes and give him a break from the kitchen for once.

  19. fuck traffic. just, yeah…fuck traffic. and is it okay to admit that I have never known what eggs benedict actually were until now? i know. that’s ridiculous. i think i’ll be making this tomorrow…

  20. These look great! I’ve never tried canola oil in my hollandaise, and I’ve got to say, those eggs look masterfully poached. I think poached eggs are the hardest to get perfect. Very nice dish!

  21. You know I feel ya girl on the traffic sitch & you’ve got a much longer commute than I, so my hat’s off to you, whew!

    Love the meal too, well done! As much as I like to overcomplicate & explore new things, a good ole fashion, simple meal speaks volumes to my heart & soul. Yay you!

  22. Great photos, that egg is popping off the page Ms Cake! Just in case the helicopter doesn’t pan out. Have you ever considered a scooter, motorbike or bicycle? You could be that crazy person who zips in and out of traffic. Weaving and ducking, ducking and weaving. Not that I would ever suggest you are at all cray cray. 😊

  23. Hate traffic!! But still dont know what’s worst – taking the crowded subway or waiting forever. Once again D., that looks delicious! I think i might take a risk and try to do those eggs! (If i hurt myself because of my bad cooking ill let you know!) 😂😂😘😘

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