I left work early at like 1:30p.
I get to the highway and it’s bumper to bumper traffic.
In the middle of a fucking Tuesday afternoon.
Turned on the radio. No accidents.
Pulled up Google Maps. No accidents.
WHY is there all this traffic at 1:30 on a Tuesday afternoon?
It got to the point where I literally wanted to roll down the fucking window and ask the guy next to me, “where the fuck are you going??”
Is your wife is labor?
Are you starting the night shift early?
Please tell me..whyyyy you are out here sir??
It actually made me look up the Boston population.
Like is the population exploding in this fucking city?
Because I didn’t think we were doing that bad but at some point, something clearly happened to suddenly have all these people out here.
It was brutal.
I was seriously thinking horrible thoughts about everyone around me.
Especially those people that leave like 4 car lengths in front of them.
Do you really need all that clearance?
It was one of those times where I was like there’s not enough lighting in the world.
As far as the odds of being struck.
And we need to bring that average up.
I fucking hate traffic.
Like it’s almost worth selling my soul.
So I could just get a helicopter and avoid all this shit.
Because there’s a lot of flat places to land.
A lot of them.
Get one of those 2-seater ones.
Land wherever the fuck I want.
And what are people going to do?
If you land on their roof?
What are they gonna do, call the tow truck?
“Ay you can’t leave that there!”
Yeah well I just did. I’ll be back in 20 mins.
You won’t even know who the fuck to call about it.
What are you going to do, call the cops?
So the two of you can stand there with your hand on your hips while he’s going, “yeah that is a helicopter…”
Wooosaaaahhh Dana, wooosaaaah.
Anyway, let’s plow ahead.
Over the weekend I woke up to a largely empty fridge.
Among the tiny jars of previous cooking experiments, mostly sauces, I found that I had all the ingredients to make Eggs Benedict.
And so I did.
And life was grand again.
Eggs Benedict with Bacon & Whole Wheat
What I Used
Few Slices bread (I used whole wheat). 2-4 Eggs. 3 Egg Yolks. ½ cup Canola Oil. ¼ cup Minced Cilantro. Several Bacon Strips.
What I Did
Make the hollandaise sauce:
Place the egg yolks in a blender.
Blend on medium while slowly drizzling in the canola oil.
Shake in salt.
Continue blending until a smooth and slightly thick texture is achieved.