Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash

Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash
My friend, the one that was in from out of town, came over to my apt on his last day here so we could go grab brunch and say our farewells.
Bu when he got here, he goes, “So what’s for breakfast?”
Um… excuse me?
He’s like, “Yeah I’m thinking bacon and eggs, potatoes…that sort of thing.”
Wait a min…we’re not going out?

See the problem when friends read your blog, is that they start acting all entitled and shit.
Expecting a g*ddamn feast everything they come over.
Like you owe them the food you eat.

Listen people, the answer is fucking no. Alright?
No you do not get to eat the shit I eat, because you feel like it.

You can only get it if you’re around when I’m making it.
I mean what, it’s not your birthday. Christmas is over baby.
I do not.
Owe you shit, alright?

Fucking A.
I mean it’s fucking amazing….the entitlement..
Fucking. amazing.

“So how come you don’t cook like this when I’m around?”
What is this, a g*ddamn reality show?

This is my house alright, my dojo.
I cook whatever I want whenever I g*ddamn well please.

That said, I made him his Bacon Pancetta, Eggs & Potatoes breakfast.
He was already on his way out so you know…whatever.
Plus, it shut him the fuck up which is what this was all about in the first damn place.



Bacon Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash


What I Used.

2 cups Pancetta bits (or diced Bacon bits). 4 cups Finely Diced Potatoes. 1 cup Milk (Soymilk for me). ½ Onion (roughly chopped). Eggs. Salt. Pepper. ½ cup Fine Diced Scallions (green part only).

What I Did.

Heat a large pan under med-high flame and add the Pancetta.
Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash
Let cook for about 5 mins, stirring frequently to scrape any bits stuck to the bottom of the pan.
Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash
Then add in the chopped onion.
Cook, stirring often, until the onions start to turn translucent.

Add in the diced potatoes.
Let cook for about 3 mins, still doing the stirring thing.
Then add in the milk/soymilk and season with salt & pepper.
Stir, then cover and let cook for about 10 mins or until the potatoes are tender.
If the liquid has evaporated before the potatoes are ready, add in a bit more milk/soymilk.

When the potatoes are fully cooked, stir in the diced scallions.
Adjust seasoning if needed.
Remove from heat and set aside.


Fry or poach an egg.
Serve with bold stare. Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash

74 thoughts on “Pancetta, Eggs & Potato Hash

  1. Ha! We get this from my parents when we go home to visit–my mom likes to give us chores to do under the reasoning that “we’re the cooking couple!” and it’s both cute and a little silly. 🙂

    More things need to be served with a bold stare, but this is an excellent place to start. Killer eggs and hash!

    1. Hahaha!
      And it’s funny, I’m always volunteering to ‘help’ my parents out when it comes to cooking because it’s like…wait a min…I…gotta eat this.
      So we getting it right the first time.
      Unless I’m dead tired then I just ask for a salad 😀

  2. One can look at it from this angle…people REALLY do appreciate your cooking. But I do agree…sometimes it’s others that should cook for you. At least don’t expect a feast every single time, right? I love cooking for family and friends, but sometimes I’m either too busy or too tired. At least we’re appreciated 😉

  3. I’ve mentioned before that my husband does pretty much all the cooking in our house. I shared your blog with him last week and sent him this post. He said if he had a blog it would probably read like yours. 😄

    Such a great post. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You’re hilarious. Have a lovely weekend.

  4. Nothing worse than food blogging pressure. And nothing wrong with cooking someone something so they can ‘shut the hell up’. That is my general parenting style. These potatoes look awesome! Me hungry.

  5. What a selfish bitch….LMAO! No, I get it. We have friends and family over and I always feel like they expect the food I blog about. It puts a lot of pressure on us to deliver. It isn’t like we can’t but being put on the spot. This looks awesome. What a lucky friend!

  6. So when is your show going to appear on the Food Network already? I would totally watch. You could cook your delicious meals while your friends watch and then you can kick them out before they get a chance to taste it! Talk about reality television! 🙂 LOL. As always, the food looks scrumptious!!!

    1. oooh Darby, you made me this way you know.
      Background story about Darby guys: Years ago, I used to invite to restaurants with me so she could discern the taste of whatever dish I was crazy about and then be make it for me (under some coaxing) later.

  7. I can sympathise with your mate. To be honest, after reading your blog of deliciousness, I think if I was ’round at your place I’d be like, “soooooo, what are you making?” too.

    Someone needs to give you a book deal.

  8. Hash is a big thing over here and it looks like you nailed it! I’d be very flattered that a friend was reading my blog, never-the-less I do get where you’re coming from. This hash doesn’t help your case one bit. Not one bit.

  9. You make such perfect stuff and photograph it like sacred things, all the while cussing and bah!-ing, that I’m totally at a loss.

    The residual punk kid in me screams to smear some grease and sauce and grub-stuff around on the rims of the pristine icy white plates you photo, so it looks like something a living person actually puts their hands and mouth to and eats; and then and drag you all off to a Denny’s to have some uncoopted eggs & hash.

    On the other hand, my grownup and respectable-passing/posing self, who, more or less, pays the bills and keeps me out of a color-coded jumpsuit, is just damn bone-scraping SICK with fucking respect and envy.

    So, uh… don’t stop, um, please?

  10. LOL with both post like this how can friends NOT want you to cook for them when an opportunity arises?? #Salivating #iWantSome #iWasntHungryTheniReadYourBlog

  11. I died laughing when I read this post! Its so true, and my family is always like “i’ll take 3 orders of those cookies you posted, thanks” haha. And I’m like ummmm??! I am not a catering service, you’re supposed to try my recipes out yourself hahaha. But i love them so whatevs haha.

    So anyway… Your potates looks unreal! 🙂 They are my favorite food ever.

  12. Hey,
    I totally feel you! Ever since I started blogging, there is no showing up nowhere anymore without dessert in my hands. People must think I live in candy land or something for they expect me to always have a sweet treat at hand (preferably the one I wrote about like 3 months ago). :-/
    I surrendered… There is no arguing with the sweet tooth in people – too dangerous! 😀

    Have a baketastic baking day,
    Your Backdirndl

  13. This post cracked me up. I do have some friends that feel all entitled and shit to be fed at my place, but most of my friends are pretty awesome about it and grateful to be fed. I guess it helps that my friends also know I love dining out so it can go either way.

    I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard, “Oh man, I’ve missed a Genie cooked meal…….”. Awkward silence and hinty eyes ensue.

Go on, get it out..

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