Bourbon & Oysters

Bourbon and Oysters

So the balloons brought about the right reaction.
There was like 10 of us at dinner with these 1970’s-esque balloons hovering above.
Every time the waitress came by, she’d reach up and squeeze one.
Good fucking times.

The day after was equally effortless.
Woke up, not hungover and watched episodes of The Chapelle Show on and off throughout the day.
Sundays are the best days ever.

In between episodes though, all these KFC commercials kept playing. Not saying anything but just saying…
You guys seen these KFC commercials?

 

They’ve got one where the parents are all stressed out because their 2 bratty kids won’t sit still at the dinner table.
So they get them this fucking chicken.

Like as soon as the mom puts it on the table, the kids immediately sit down and just start wolfing this thing down.
Silence. Chaos eliminated.
Just like that.

Do you realize they’re basically saying you have to drug your children to get them to behave.
I mean, what happened to parents?

That you have to give them …this food crack, in order to keep them under control.
I mean for the love of God..

 

They’re basically saying that kids are so ridiculous that these people have to go down to Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I say the word chicken very loosely, they have to go down there, feed them this…whatever it is that’s in that bucket, in order to get their kids to calm down.

 

KFC chicken… I just keep thinking, this thing doesn’t have a beak. It doesn’t have feet.
Its fucking breast are sticking out like the cast of Jersey Shore.
In my world, that’s not a fucking chicken.

You eat a regular fucking chicken, first of all it’s gonna look like a pigeon to you.
Because we’re so used to seeing those roided up ones that they have on murderers row in the supermarket.

 

When I was in Lake Tahoe a few years ago, we went down to one the farmers market and I said I wanted an all natural chicken.
He goes, “All natural?”
And I said all natural.
So he walked us around the corner.
And it’s sitting over there, lonely. Looking like a fucking dove.

He goes, “Right there. That one right there is 100% natural, nothings wrong with it.”
And I was like, wait a min, that’s what a chicken is supposed to look like?
And he raised his eyebrows and put his lips together so they kinda formed a straight line and then he nodded.
Alright, I said. Show me the oysters.

 

So he takes me to the ice bin of oysters and while we were sorting through them, he starts telling me about this recipe.
He goes, “You want to mix like a ½ cup Brown Sugar in with a ½ cup Bourbon, 2 sticks of butter, couple of chili peppers and lots of garlic. Let it sit for a while in the fridge until you’re ready for ’em, then shuck these oysters and put them on the grill with a spoon of this butter.”

Bourbon, chili peppers, oysters…?
Go on.

“Cook them on med-high heat for a lil bit, then let it cool for a bit, you don’t want to burn yourself now. Grab a beer and tuck in.”
He did that tight-lipped nod again and I started to feel like it was a code for something.
What else are you trying to tell me sir??

 

I was picking up some ‘all natural’ chicken thighs over the weekend and had a quick flashback to this guy and this oyster bourbon recipe.
And I thought, eh why not? They’ve got oysters here too.

People, these are some of the best oysters you’ll ever eat although the ingredient proportions he gave me were all wrong.
They work if you’re trying to make this for 25 people but if it’s all about you like it should be, go with my edits because I’m telling you, this is all sorts of right.

When you’re ready to take a break from cocktail sauce, this is where you go.

 

 

 

Bourbon & Oysters

What I Used.

Couple Dozen Oysters. ½ cup R1 Rye Bourbon. ½ cup Brown Sugar. 4 tbsp Butter. 1 Thai Red Pepper (minced). 1 tbsp Minced Garlic.

What I Did.

You want to immerse the bourbon with the butter so start that first.
Mix all the ingredients except the oysters in a medium bowl or a food processor.
http://iveogtcake.com

It will look a bit lumpy but don’t worry about it.
Place in fridge to integrate for about 1 hour.

 

Now for the oysters…
http://iveogtcake.com

Get a thick kitchen towel or put on some tear-proof gloves and just start shucking.
It’s totally ok if you lose some oyster juice in the process too. The butter will make up for it.
http://iveogtcake.com http://iveogtcake.com

 

Now see when he was telling me the recipe, he kept saying grill them.
But being that I don’t have a grill, in my head, that meant I could do this.
home_grilling_oysters

Don’t do this.
If you don’t have a grill, pre-heat the broiler, use your head.

Place the oysters on a foil lined baking tray and broil them with the door cracked until the butter starts to bubble.
Set aside to cool for a little while you make a drink.

Consume.
Bourbon and Oysters Black_food_bloggers oysters_and_bourbon_recipes Boston_seafood_bloggers

71 Comments

  1. Sundays ARE the best days. & that KFC commercial cracks me up every time. “I don’t know what’s in this chicken but if it makes them shut up I will kiss Colonel Sanders on the mouth.” Also, these oysters are stunning.

  2. We had one of the boys’ friends over for dinner one evening and I’d roasted a whole chicken. The poor thing looked at it and asked me what it was. When I said “chicken”, his reply was, “I never knew they came like that. I always thought chicken only came in nuggets.” What the hell were his parents feeding him, I’d like to know? Insert BIG sigh. Rant over. I love you 😀

  3. I haven’t seen the non-sense, but KFC is NOT the answer. When I was little my ass got whooped. That teach respect and makes you disciplined, not a piece of chicken. WTF?!?! Ludicrous!!

    These oysters look foodgasmic! OMG! I’m quivering!

    1. Eaxctly!!
      Now it’s a federal case if you even yell at your kid.
      My mother once broke her hairbrush paddling us and all she said was, “Look what you did to my brush!”
      Then went back to brushing her hair, with the the bristle piece.
      She kept brushing like that for yeeeaaaarsss.

    1. Yes, you must try them at least once this year!
      And you’ll either love them or be done with them. There is hardly ever a middle ground but that doesn’t mean you should deprive yourself 🙂
      xx

  4. We’ve all been there with overestimating tin foil’s abilities. One morning I was still half asleep and put my breakfast sandwich in the microwave, tin foil wrapping and all. Lesson learned 😉

  5. Oh my god, you sexy bitch, you have an oyster shucking glove.

    I just made the husband watch So I Married An Axe Murderer (British people don’t have nice things like that movie), and this post totally made me think of that scene, where the dad is like, “Oh, I HATE the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face: ‘Oh you’re going to buy my chicken!'”

    Anyway. I intend to make these. Thank you for your research. ❤

  6. Oh my, I am all a quiver and mouth watery. The oysters are calling to me like wobbly little sirens….eat me, eat me they sing. It is added to my ‘ever increasing, bloody long to do list.’ I remember a girlfriend squeezing fat out of a piece of KFC when we were 16 and It put me off for life.

    1. Ew.
      That just gave me an awful image that I’ll have to spent the rest of the morning shouting away.
      I can’t wait to make these again though.
      I’m so glad I know how to shuck my own oysters. The thought of being prevented from this because of that is like a handicap.

    1. You really ought to try them.
      Go somewhere know for their oysters though because they’ll likely have a lot of variety and that’s what you want (variety) when you trying to decide whether you like something or not 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by my blog, hope you have a great day beautiful!
      xx

  7. Dana, you always come up with my favourite stuff. I love oysters. And i agree completely with your thoughts on parenting . Even my kids pressurise sometimes to go for Junk food. But every time you give up to their tantrums, you are putting the kid’s health on risk.I wish parents have the patience to deal with such pressures and raise the kids with healthy food habits.

    1. Thank you Sari!!
      And I agree! Junk food won’t hurt you if you have it in moderation. Like most things.
      It’s the fact that out of all the alternatives, all the data out there on diabetes and obesity, they were basically saying KFC is an appropriate dinner for kids.
      That’s what raised my eyebrows and made me go, “really??”

  8. I honestly admit- I’m not a fan of these at all…they eat them in France- especially for Christmas, and after 4 I’m like can I go now?? Sorry sis! But the recipe is cool- pretty sure here they would think it’s a blasphemy though 😀 but I would try it!

      1. I’m in Columbia right now recovering after some crazy times at Carnival in Rio. I haven’t been blogging in a while I think I have lost my writing mojo so now I’m just lurking around enjoying other people’s blogs!

  9. I love all things oysters. Therefore I was attracted to your post. Didn’t get far in reading it before I could NOT handle the language.

    It is sad that today’s you people cannot speak (or write) in a civilized tone. And, yes, I was highly offended.

  10. Hsssss…. ding-dang it, I’m gonna have to try this. It sounds horrible and wrong and scrumptious. I’m such a saltwater snob — a Pacific Rim brat of the worst kind; the kind that says if you need to cook or season oysters, why bother at all? We’re sooooo much above that. But… hell. There’s no sane way to deny the need to carry out this plan.

    re: all natural chickens, heh yes 🙂 I haven’t eaten a chicken or a duck in over two years whose name I wasn’t told by the young farmer-in-training who sold it to me; morbid, granted, but tastier and more satisfying. (IMO.) But I’m also pretty sympathetic to folks for whom KFC (et al.) isn’t “junk food” but just plain food, or even a nutritional step up from their other “options”. Well, I’m just one big red mark — so yeah, I think critiques of American dietary/culinary/food culture based on the idea of choice and consumption (even informed and virtuous consumerism) is barking at straw dogs.

    I’d hate to be a kid nowadays. And yeah, I also hate having to deal with most of them, in public and whatnot. Sigh. No bourbon. No oysters. Will have to go gnaw crusts and lap up stale tapwater ;(

    1. Hahaha!!
      Yeah kids are not on my to do list either but you should really consider playing around with those pacific oysters over there.
      Sure you can have them as is but getting creative with them and liquor is just too good of an idea to entirely rule out.

  11. You are my hero. Shucking an oyster (or a dozen or so) is on my bucket list this year. I read that hormones are not used in chickens raised here in New Zealand, but for some reason, they are still huge. I don’t know what they’re doing, but they must be doing something to those fowl.

    Did the natural chicken taste different? I remember watching an episode of River Cottage where they got people to blind taste test plumped up chicken and free ranged chicken. Everyone preferred the plumped up chicken, probably because that was what they were accustomed to. The free range stuff tasted too “meaty”.

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