Asparagus, Mushrooms & Eggs

Asparagus, Mushrooms & Eggs
*wah wah wah wah wah*
Ah shit…
Rolls out of bed.
Apt is empty and quiet, it’s Sunday.

Walks in zig-zag motion to kitchen.
Reaches up to grab giant mug.
Fills mug with ginger-granola cereal.
Bends into fridge to grab soymilk.
Shakes container.
Ah what the fuck!
Don’t tell me I don’t have any more milk, do not tell me ..

Leans back.
Dude what fuccck.
Shakes container again.
*deep sigh*
Opens fridge again.
Repeatedly blinks at contents, squinting.
After a min, closes fridge.

Hands on hips, pacing around kitchen.
Seriously Dana? You seriously didn’t get any more milk bitch?
*deep sigh*

Stands there in sleepy pose with both hands tucked into the top of pajama bottoms.
*Blinks slowly*
*Blinks slowly*
The fuck am I going to eat?
*Blinks slowly*
I seriously do NOT feel like cooking…
*loud exhale*

Walks back to bedroom.
Finds glasses.
Finds phone.
Walks back to kitchen.

Opens fridge again.
Surveys contents closer this time.
Assesses the left side.
Nah, I don’t want that.
Opens a jar and sniffs.
Uggh!! Fuck no!
Stretches arm behind to toss entire jar in trash.

Looks at right side of fridge.
Grabs eggs.
Squats down in front of fridge.
Opens vegetable drawers.
1 is empty, closes that.
Grabs asparagus out of the other, emptying that one too.

Looks down at contents in arms.
*Stank face*
Looks back in fridge.
God, what kind of fucking loser doesn’t have any takeout leftovers?
*rolls eyes at self*
*resigned sigh*

Moves contents in the middle of fridge around a bit.
Grabs baby bella mushrooms.
Stands up, closing fridge with foot.

Sets Pandora on phone to Nina Simone.
Volume way down.
Washes hands.



Asparagus, Mushrooms & Eggs

What I Used.

Large handful Asparagus. An Egg. 3 cups Sliced Portabella Mushrooms. Olive Oil. Salt. Pepper.

What I Did.

Preheat oven to 400F.
Sliced mushrooms and place on foil-lined baking tray.
Generously drizzle olive oil over mushrooms.
Sprinkle with salt & pepper.
Toss lightly then spread evenly on tray.
Place tray in oven to roast for 30 mins or until the mushroom ends start to curl.


Rinse Asparagus and chop ends off.
Bring a pot of salted water to a boil.
Add in asparagus.
Boil for 4 mins or until asparagus is cooked but still crunchy.
Drain from water.
Set aside.


Fry an egg.
Tip I learned from another blog: spooning the butter/oil on top of the egg will cook the yolk a bit, eliminating the need for you to flip it and wondering why the white on top is still raw.

healthy_food_bloggers black_food_bloggers http://ivegotcake,com http://ivegotcake,com
Head back to bed as planned.



73 thoughts on “Asparagus, Mushrooms & Eggs

  1. Nothing is worse than running out of your breakfast staples. My entire day is ruined if I’m without my OJ. You did gooooood with what you got, gurl. I’d order this at brunch with a giant mimo.

  2. Nicely done!! You ended up with a breakfast for champions. I have to say I would have roasted the asparagus in the oven and sauteed the mushrooms in a pan on the stove. You’ve opened my eyes to roasting mushrooms!! Thank ya!

  3. Love love love it! The translation of “organic asparagus” into French is hilarious! I suppose it is French Canadian, but you’d never ever say that in French French! You already know I love eggs, but I love asparagus and mushrooms as well, and that vibrant green has me longing for spring!

    1. Yeah girl, it did the trick.
      But I absolutely threw a tantrum before I got down to making this.
      Like why…just gimme my cereal so I can eat it in bed and go right back to sleep.

  4. Seriously Dana!!! I almost thought I was sitting on that sofa in your living room and watching you walking around,stretching, exhaling, washing and cooking. Oh Dear!! All the while wishing I could fix up something for you. But you did an awesome job. yummy breakfast…

  5. Dana, you make me laugh out loud every time. You’re hilarious, and I know you know that. Well I know people must tell you this and you’re all, ‘I’m not really tryin’ to be but ok’.

    So tell me more about this ginger granola cereal please…

    1. You pretty much said it lol.
      Most of the time when I rant/ramble I’m just looking at things with a stank face but occasionally I crack myself up 🙂
      Also I’m never really sure if my humor is getting across because when I read it, it comes across as very literal to me so this is good feedback, thank you Zully my FL love 🙂

      Now for this Ginger granola cereal, it’s from Trader Joe’s and it’s pretty much granola clusters with small caramelized ginger chunks and almond & cashwer slivers, often eaten in bed 🙂
      It’s not overly suggary, doesn’t get soggy too soon which allows all the components just come together beautifully.
      It’s a 7-day/week mandate for me and I get veerrry childlike when I have to go without.

      But seriously, if you have a TJ by you, go buy some, try some and send me your thoughts 🙂

  6. Looks delish & damn it girl, you sure can cook an egg correctly! Not to mention, use my favorite combo of veggies on the planet, asparagus & mushrooms. Well done m’lady!

    1. You can’t see it but I’m gravely nodding right now.
      The first time I tried it, my mind was blown too.
      Just keep spooning the oil/butter on top until the bottom of the egg is cooked the way you want it. Then sliiiiide it out that pan and watch that yolk stay intact 🙂

  7. Looks legit. Not like a “haven’t been grocery shopping yet” kind of meal. Not to sound smug, but I like cooking like this. If I know I need to go to the grocery store, I’ll delay it a day or two. There’s always a few more meals that can be squeezed out of what looks like nothing. There’s something really satisfying about doing that. Like magic.

  8. This: Hands on hips, pacing around kitchen.
    Seriously Dana? You seriously didn’t get any more milk bitch?
    *deep sigh*

    hahahaha!!! I died laughing. But really that looks delicious! Whenever I’m in doubt for breakfast, lunch, dinner, OR drunken night snack I always go for eggs and vegetables. Eggs go with every single one and it’s damn cheap and easy and healthy!

    Danika Maia

Go on, get it out..

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