Ahi Tuna with Cucumber Ribbon Salad

I know this should be some sort of Easter recipe but I ran out of time to create this weekend and with the workweek, I’m back to making simple shit like soups & salads.

I wish I could tell you I’m benefitting from all this lean eating, I really wish I could fucking say that..

Like I don’t know what it is but for whatever reason the fat ass in me is fucking coming out and I’m eating like an absolute animal on weekends.
The only reason I’m not gaining weight is because I cut out all that drinking.
But I swear to god sometimes…


Sometimes I just wanna say fuck it and eat a whole g*ddamn pie.

With creamy vanilla ice cream on the side and just an unreasonable dose of caramel on top.
For dinner.
And then have 18 shortbread cookies for dessert.
Wash it all down with a giant strawberry milkshake.
Just completely, immerse myself in that sugar-salt addiction.


Like if I wasn’t disturbed by the fact that my parents would look better than me and that all the lactose in that ice cream would probably kill me, I think I could do it.
If it wasn’t for the sheer fact that the 30 mins it would take to eat all that would mean 20 brutal, just non-stop days at the gym and possibly running into bush-lady in the steam room again.

 You guys remember bush-lady?


That lady in the steam room, walking around naked, popping out of every corner, practically harassing me with her hairy g*ddamn hoo-ha.
You wanna talk about an absolute shit-show.
If you missed it, here’s the story about bush-lady.
I have to shout the memory away from just writing about her.



So anyway, like I was saying.
This isn’t very Easter-y but if you really want to make some fancy, spring-like shit for Easter, I’d say try this Nicoise Salad or this Watermelon Salad if you can get some watermelon or this Baked Potato with Caviar if you’re having Easter dinner at someone else’s house and you don’t want to look like a bum by bringing nothing.


For those that don’t give a shit about Easter, let me make a couple notes before we move onto this dish:
– A 1.5lb Tuna steak will serve 2 people nicely but you will want to double it if you are serving more than 2.
– It’s important to use baby cucumber for this because the green peel is more tender to consume than a regular adult cucumber which toughens over time.
– This is light meal. So if you want to make this more filling, consider adding more to the salad.
Throw in all sorts of other green shit; asparagus, peppers, peas, arugula, haricot verts…seriously go for it.





 Ahi Tuna with Cucumber Ribbon Salad

What I Used.

1.5lb – 3lb Sushi-Grade Tuna Steaks. 5 Baby Cucumbers. 1 Large Handful Fresh Cilantro. 1 tsp Sesame Seeds. Olive Oil. Salt. Pepper.

 What I Did.

Wash, rinse & pat-dry the tuna.
Then season lightly with salt & pepper, both sides.
Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in large sauté pan over med-high heat.

Place the tuna in the pan and sauté for 30-45 sec.
The goal is to achieve a slightly golden brown color without compromising the rareness of the tuna.
Flip the tuna and sauté the other side for the 30 sec.
Remove the tuna from the pan and set aside to rest.


For the cucumber salad:
In a bowl, peel the cucumbers into ½” ribbons.
Roughly chop the cilantro and add it to the bowl.
Ahi Tuna with Cucumber Ribbon Salad
Shake in some salt, pepper and some sesame seeds.
Give things a good toss.
Adjust seasoning as necessary.


To serve: thinly slice the tuna along the grain and include a handful of the cucumber ribbon salad.
IVC_3960_1 ahi_tuna_with_cucumber_ribbon_salad

53 thoughts on “Ahi Tuna with Cucumber Ribbon Salad

  1. Aaaaah! I’m the same way. There are days I just want to shove my face into an entire key lime pie and not come up for air until it’s done. Seriously! And then top it off with a mile-high mound of nachos with more cheese than anyone should eat in a month. Guess it’ll be salad with oil and vinegar dressing for me tonight…again.

  2. Your dishes always look like they are photos from a well respected food magazine on a story about some high-end four-star restaurant. Oh so fancy 🙂 You know what that means?!? Time to start charging money! $1200 a plate… hey, if Obama can do it, so can you! Also, I’ll let you in on a little secret… looks like your bush-lady has a husband or boyfriend. Yep, there is a male version of bush-lady in the men’s locker room… with the added bonus of hairy balls. Fun, fun, fun.

  3. How could I forget bush-lady?!!??! That is one of my favorite stories of all time!! I’d eat this for Easter. Nobody says ya gotta eat ham! I think if I moved in with you I may loose a few pounds. Your portion control is beautiful!

  4. It’s the Easter Tuna! (Scary to think of a giant tuna delivering chocolate eggs to small children.) As Easter has a few days in it, this would be a great dish in between all the pigging out. Just beautiful Cake. (If you continue to eat this way you will be in great shape for your next BLE, Bush Lady Encounter.)

  5. You’ve made tuna tataki 🙂 Some edamame beans in the salad would be a fun Japanese touch.

    I wouldn’t be surprised or alarmed if my parents are in better shape than me. I’ve never set foot inside of a gym and my parents both go to the gym. I wouldn’t mind a rad body like yours but I think I’m too lazy. I do walk everywhere though. A girl’s gotta get places.

    1. Oh I love Edamame beans!
      Damn! I had some too, totally forgot about them.
      Oh well.

      Lucky you for being able to look so good and still escape the gym.
      If I stopped working out my body would look and feel like Jelly.
      No bueno :/

  6. Bush lady! She was the best!

    But I’m with you on the pigging out thing. I just want to throw in the towel, give up and devour a carton of ice cream every night.

    Wouldn’t that just be amazing??

  7. There are plenty of Easter-related recipes out there–it’s nice to see something different. You and I were on similar wavelengths, because I made tuna tartare last Friday and it was so delicious. I am keeping this salad in mind for the summer months, only I might add some avocado and lime.


  8. Not a tuna person! But the cucumber ribbon – THOSE I love, one day we had them with rabbit, if I remember correctly. Look delicious regardless, your food always looks delicious.
    Have a lovely weekend twinnie

      1. hahahaha, you make me LAWL. The idea of me making Rabbit could be eventful. &&& not in a good way. haha such a challenge. Acceptable. Now where do I find a rabbit? MAYBE…. When i go to Uganda this year?
        The thought alone… LOL. It will probably taste choco grilled but not quite cooked on a grill :’)
        😀 😀 😀

  9. I had ahi tuna for dinner, too! With a little cayenne pepper on it & wasabi sauce on the side 🙂 Must have been something in the air!

  10. Hey Dana, have you seen that new 3D food app? 3Daround. I think at least 2/3 of your fans would poop their pants (myself included if you started 3Ding your food. that or heavily pushing for food invites or care packages…

    1. You know I heard about this!!
      I mean if they’re 3D’ing organs and cells, it was only a matter of time before they got to food right?
      But yeah no, I won’t be 3D’ing my food. That defeats the purpose of cooking which is where I get my happiness from 😀

  11. Dude… I know what you mean about eating like crazy lately especially on vacation. I realised today that I haven’t eaten a single substantial vegetable since last Friday! So I stopped by a market and tonight I’m only having steamed broccoli and cauliflower for dinner hahaha

    Danika Maia

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