Are people that impressed with the self-parking ability of new cars that they can’t see they’re driving a fucking dinner roll?
I wonder what the car purchase process is like.
Is having a car that looks like an elephant seal part of the negotiation?
Do you negotiate on the fact that you can never lock eyes with anyone ever again while you’re driving this thing.
And when your buddy tries to talk car talk with you, you just gotta keep saying “it’s what on the inside that counts”
Imagine driving in that thing.
You start your day off like Mother Teresa, nice and calm, maybe even singing to yourself a little.
Then people see you driving this fat car around.
Thing looks like a g*ddamn bus so they start cutting you off.
Four/five people do this, now you’re gripping the steering wheel and screaming at your windshield.
Trying to control the absolute animal in you that’s just waiting to come out.
The one that just makes you want to get out of your car and punch through their drivers side window like the fucking terminator.
Lift them up by the front of their shirt while saying something horrific like “If I ever see you again, I’ll beat you to death with your g*ddamn bumper.”
Then you shake them so hard both their shoes fall off.
And then you get in their car and drive away.
Is that too much?
Why am I even picking on new car owners?
I think it’s because I got cut off by one of these fat cars on my way to work this morning and it annoyed me.
But let’s get back on track, let’s get back to the Calamari.
Look I’ll be honest, this dish isn’t for the feeble minded alright?
I know it’s not visually appealing to see a lot of tentacles poking through your food, I get it.
But it’s only meant to be an appetizer and it’s really, really good.
Like surprisingly delicious.
Another great thing? It’s versatile in that you can even serve it cold.
If you have it cold, it’s sort of like eating ceviche and everybody likes ceviche right?
And yeah I know it’s freaky, all those tentacles and shit.
It even freaked me out for a second there, so I’ll bargain with you.
If you like calamari and wanna try this, make it with just the rings.
You can leave out the tentacles.
But look the bottom line is Calamari is Squid.
If you wanna eat calamari but hide the fact that it’s a fucking squid, then continue on with the traditional fried calamari.
But really, who’s kidding who.
You’re still eating a fucking squid.
Face your fears like a (hu)man.
Calamari Salad with Roasted Tomatoes & Edamame
What I Used
1lb Fresh Squid. 1 cup Uncooked Edamame Beans. 2 cups Roughly Chopped Basil. 1 cup Roughly Chopped Cilantro. 15-18 Grape Tomatoes. 3-4 Med Ears of Corn. ½ a lemon. 3 Thai Chili Peppers. Olive Oil. Salt. Pepper.
What I Did
Start with the corn – the calamari will cook super quick so do that last.
Turn frequently to ensure the kernels cook evenly.
When the corn is golden brown and slightly charred, remove from heat and let cool.
After about 5 mins or so, it should be cool enough to handle – using a knife, shave the roasted kernels off the cob and into a bowl.
For the roasted tomatoes:
While the tomatoes are going, bring a pot of salted water to boil.
Add the edamame beans.
Boil for 3 mins then blanch the edamame in a bowl of ice cold water to stop the cooking process.
Drain and set aside.
For the calamari:
Remove from heat after 2 mins or when the calamari has turns translucent.
Pay attention to this part or you’ll risk overcooking it which will make the squid chewy and tough.
Drain the calamari in a colander.
Squeeze ½ a lemon over it then transfer to a large bowl.
Then heat 1 tbsp of olive oil in the same large sauté pan under med heat.
Add the calamari mixture to the pan and cook, stirring frequently until the basil is just wilted.
You may need to do this in batches, depending on how large your sauté pan is.
It’s also important to do this until the basil is just wilted because you want to gently heat the salad without the risk of overcooking the squid.