Mangoes in Bourbon and Whipped Eggs Whites

Mangoes in Bourbon and Whipped Eggs Whites
Did anybody hear about the controversy around the actors who had to apologize to a fictional superhero character?

Some guy who plays Captain America and another who plays Green Lantern or some shit, were asked to describe another character, Black Widow I think, and they jokingly said she’s a slut.

And apparently that got everrrrybody up in arms and now they have to apologize.
They called a comic book character a whore and they have to apologize…

I’m just gonna pause here to everyone reading this can go what the fuck?


Listen to these fucking morons, somebody wrote;
“Well it’s nice of Chris Evans & Jeremy Renner to let us know they so gross.”
Someone else wrote;
“These comments were beyond disturbing and misogynistic”


We’re talking about a character right?
A comic book character

So then they both had to issue apologizes.
For making fun of a fictitious woman.

These guys are walking around eating salads and protein shakes so they can tuck their guts into a tight suit and they have to apologize to a FICTITIOUS CHARACTER.


Like this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard of.
Folks are acting like there are no whores in the world.
That word exists for a reason, people…

And they’re out there.
I’ll take you to Vegas and show to a whole fucking strip of them.

I don’t even know what the Black Widow character does but a real black widow spider screws a male spider and then kills him.
She’s going around hauling heads off with a bunch of spider jizz in her and she’s not at the very least a slut?


Who are they even apologizing to?
The people that commented?

“That’s just ridiculous, you know I’ll never see any of his movies again. Until the next person offends me and then I’ll forget what the first guy said and go see one of his movies anyway.”


Ugh. What a fucking waste.

I mean they’re actors, they’re all whores right?
Whoring themselves out for a part in the next Hunger Games or some other shit like that?
Some other blockbuster release.
And by the way, I’m allowed to have this opinion without you throwing your hair curlers going across the g*ddamn room alright?


Alright let’s get off this subject, I don’t even know why I’m talking about this.

Can I just say this to people in general, fucking GROW UP.
Bunch of g*ddamn babies.
Give a fuck about something that matters.

Rather than talking about Aquaman and Ozone Layer guy or whoever the fuck the other guys is, how about directing your writing skills to an actual issue?

The state of California is almost out of water people. 
By June, the grass will be as brown as my g*ddamn arm.
What do you have to say about that??



Alright I’m done.


Let’s talk about this plate.
This has to be one of the easiest deserts I’ve ever made and I have no idea why it took so long for me to put it together.

It has Bourbon, sweet ass mangoes and one of my favorite herbs ever; basil.
You thought I was going to bring it back to weed didn’t you?
*shaking my damn head* 


Putting this together, I felt I’d need some kind of cream on top, you know?
Go for that extra dose of luxury.
But I can’t really have cream.
Lactose remember?

So what do I do?
I set aside the mango cubes to marinate in the bourbon and make whipped cream out of eggs whites.

Because I’ve never made whipped cream like this before and with things marinating, I had plenty of time to fuck up and recover.


Note 1 to self: Buy an electric whisker.
You wanna talk about a labor of fucking love, try repeatedly whisking by hand for over 10 mins.
For over 5 mins.

Note 2 to self: No more picture grainy ass pictures, Dana.
Next time increase the ISO # on your camera and adjust the setting so that Aperture is a priority.
Or wait until it’s stopped raining and the skies have cleared up.
Use your head bitch.





Mangoes in Bourbon and Whipped Eggs Whites.



What I Used.

2 Large Mangoes. 2 tbsp Brown Sugar (or any other kind). 2 tbsp Julienned Basil Leaves. 3 Eggs (whites only). 2 tbsp Blue Agave Syrup. ½ cup Bulleit Bourbon (or any other kind).


What I Did.

Peel and cut the mangoes into bite-sized cubes.
Place cubes in bowl.
Add to bowl ½ cup bourbon and brown sugar.

Give things a good stir so all the sugar is dissolved.
Mix in the julienned basil.
Cover with a lid or a plastic wrap and store in the fridge for 30 mins.
You can make the manage marinade a day ahead.

Serve with store-bought whipped cream or make whipped cream like below then serve.


Egg White Whipped Cream

Empty 3 egg whites in a bowl.
When the eggs have bubbles on top, sweeten the mixture by adding 2 tbsp blue agave syrup to the bowl.
You can substitute the blue agave with maple syrup or granulated sugar – just make sure the sugar is well dissolved.

If you’re using an electric whisker, whisk on low and do dishes or something. Make yourself useful.

When you start to achieve soft peaks that can stand up on their own – you’re almost there.
Stop when you reach your desired thickness.


Serve on top of bourbon mangoes immediately.
If left to stand too long, the egg whites will begin to absorb the moisture in the atmosphere and their creamy appearance will start to break down.

Soooooo goood.

Mom if you were closer this would be my Mother’s Day gift to you.
It’s that damn good.


57 thoughts on “Mangoes in Bourbon and Whipped Eggs Whites

  1. Ahhh, a good Cake rant. Excellent. What, no pot? Mango, one of my faves and have never thought to add it to booze…now there’s the real controversy!! Forget the crazy superheroes… they male or female…..I have NEVER thought of adding booze to mangoes. That’s a lot of wasted years Cake. Just saying.

  2. I love when celebrities have to apologize for openly sharing a personal opinion. Really makes me love human beings even more. Wasting so much energy being trolls about celebrities they will never meet who will never care about them. But bourbon in my dessert, yes please.

  3. I’m with you Dana! Can’t even make a joke these days without people getting their panties in a knot (btw is panties the grossest word?!?) but let’s talk about the mango goodness you made. Where do you come up with these ideas? Heaven!!!!

    1. hahaha, pantiiieeeess
      No but yeah, mangoes were around and so was bourbon.
      That was really all I needed.
      To get my summer on I threw in the basil strips but you know…it was all about the bourbon 😀

  4. Looks amazing! Im not with that egg white stuff though, thank god im not lactose or I’d freak! (Im sure yours tastes BOMB I just don’t have the patience or a mixer lmao) oh & you are fxcking hilarious. A black widow is the whore of whores, she’s a BOSS the way she does it too! Happy hump day doll!

    1. You know you’ve got a point there.
      It could be either lol
      Thank you, thank you.
      PS – can you check if I’m still following you?
      Your posts aren’t showing up in my feed lately.. :/

      1. Oh no! I think you are, it says so anyway but wouldn’t hurt to do the “sign up via email” thing because now that I’m self hosted the feed never works right for me anymore.

  5. God – I’m crying right now. You are SO FUNNY. Like, I can’t even focus right now through the tears and body-wrenching spasms of laughter. “Brown as my arm”, “spider jizz”, fucking “Ozone Layer Guy”????? Sheeeeeet. You best be applying to SNL as a writer!!

  6. Ok – lastly, this dessert reminds me of something I make all summer. I dice mangoes and pineapple, throw in berries and grapes and marinate overnight in Cointreau with a few drops of vanilla essence. I top it off with homemade whipped cream with lemon zest mixed in. Easy peezy.

  7. I can’t believe all this nonsense over whores….these men and women are the only people I respect in life! And we can agree about it more over the delicious dessert you have pictured. Nothing goes together better than whores and sweets 🙂

  8. What a great dessert for the next barbecue and so darn easy! ❤ The egg whites look so FLUFFFY delicious on top, I can't stop scrolling back and looking at it again and again… Nice twist!

  9. Oh, this looks awesome and now I know what to try next in a series of fruit and bourbon infusions: mango! Between the frothy egg whites and the bourbon and the mango it’s almost like a deconstructed cocktail.

    By the way I’m obsessed with that bowl. I have no need for any additional dinnerware whatsoever but that is not stopping me from yearning after that bowl.

    1. Oh yeaah, it IS like a decostructed cocktail!
      Damn, I gotta get you to name my posts next time, talk about a missed opportunity!

      And this bowl is fucking fantastic isn’t it?
      Too bad it’s Jonatahans, not mine.
      He brought me up a sous vide duck breast in it for dinner a couple weeks ago and I haven’t been able to return it.
      Good news for both of us is that it’s from IKEA…so there’s that…

      1. Oh man, you should NOT have told me that!

        ::furiously goes to, finds bowls, sees that they are available online AND at my local store::

        Must….get them! 🙂

      1. Sweet, so I’ll get around to shooting you an email about all this soon.
        Gotta wait for the ground to stop spinning – long weekend 😀

Go on, get it out..

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s