You know what I realized when I’m running out of shit in my fridge?
Whenever my fridge is low on food to the point I’m sifting through the doors of the fridge, I just grab whatever’s left that doesn’t smell bad or hasn’t turned brown, and make a salad.
Fucking pathetic, I know.
But what can I say, I’ve been busy mis-managing my time.
I once read somewhere overheard a conversation that since 40 is the new 30, your 20s are where you should get all the partying out of your system so that when you get into your 30s, you can focus on starting a family.
And now I don’t agree with all that because god knows I fucking work my ass all the way off.
But really I just can’t see myself as a parent.
Just the entire lifestyle shift that has to happen when you have a kid.
Even the little shit.
You know that shit when you’re lying in bed and your kid walks in.
You’re dreaming of an obscene phone call then you realize it’s some toddler panting beside your ear going “mom…*pant pant* mom, are you up yet?”
That’s why if you’ve ever offered to babysit for a weekend or even a night, parents give you that look like, wait a min – for real?
“Yeaaah sure no problem,” you reply. “I can take care of little Billy Badass and Annie cant-keep-her-pants-up.”
“Yeah I’m sure! You guys take the night off, you deserve it.”
If you’ve ever offered that, then you’ve know that look I’m talking about.
They have that same look in their eyes as like, a hooker does.
Where it’s not a joke. They will fuck you.
I offered to baby sit my friends kids once and it was an absolute shit show.
I kept asking how I got myself into this situation.
It’s like once again, doing something nice for someone was a bad idea.
And I mean, let’s face I could never get a kid to eat this salad.
What I Used.
A handful: Arugula. Roughly Chopped Cilantro. Roughly Chopped Parsley. Broccolini (blanched & stems cut off). 1 cup Cooked Peas. 1 cup Cooked Edamame. 3-4 strips Pancetta. 2 tbsp Honey. 2 tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar. 1 Lemon Wedge (seeds removed). 1 tbsp Olive Oil. Salt. Pepper.
What I Did.
Pour the honey vinegar dressing over the bowl of greens and mix.
Tear the strips of pancetta into pieces and add to the bowl of greens.