You gotta talk to them gently, tell them it’s gonna be ok, give them something to eat, nod attentively while you slowly spike their drink…
Nah I’m just kidding.
We all know it’s never ok.
A couple days ago my friend called me over because she thought he bf was going to break up with her.
She felt he was acting ‘differently’.
Swear to God, women – why are we constantly mind fucking ourselves?
You mind fuck the guy but never yourself.
That’s like trying to play Jenga in the dark.
So whatever, I went over and she’s freaking out.
The more she talked, the more in her head she got.
She’s busy deep thinking and hypothesizing and I’m busy making this guacamole, telling her to calm down while simultaneously asking her to grab a big bowl.
By the time it had gotten to the, “I don’t think I can have this conversation with him over the phone, I need to drive up tonight or I won’t sleep!” point, I’d moved us out to the front balcony with this bowl of guac and some chips.
The more she dipped in, the less anxious she became.
I’m telling you, something about guacamole just calms women the fuck down.
Like you can’t help but crowd your mouth with it.
You just shut the fuck up.
And she did.
We slowly changed topics, while steadily eating this bomb ass guacamole.
By the time we were 2/3 of the way in – she was ready to hop in the pool.
For the rest of the day she pretty much forgot about her phone and when she checked it before I left, he’d sent some mushy, I love you shit and all was right in the world again.
So there you have it people.
You wanna keep your woman calm?
What I Used
½ Habanero Pepper (roughly chopped). 1 cup Chopped Cilantro. 2 tbsp Olive Oil. ¼ cup Diced Red Onion. 3-4 Avocados. Salt. Pepper.
What I Did
Integrate into the avocado using a large spoon.
Use the back of the spoon to mash up the avocado pieces.