Roasted Carrots with Honey & Feta Crumbles

Roasted Carrots & Honey with Feta Crumbles
Over here in America, the big (4th of July) holiday weekend begins today.
Some of you guys probably took yesterday off in which case I’m happy for you but screw you.

The rest of us are gonna try and leave work early today to beat the holiday traffic.

 

In Boston, for big holidays like this, the city empties out as people flock either south, to Cape Cod and Martha’s Vineyard, or north, to New Hampshire and Maine.

It’s like a hurricane evacuation.
People are fucking gone.
Some of you are probably already in your cars, aren’t you?

 

You got your hands 10 and 2 on the wheel, like you’re supposed to?
Driving like a Nervous Nelly?

Question; have you ever been comfortable in a car with someone driving at 10 and 2?

Or 9 and 3?
7 and 11:23? Whatever the fucking latest study is.

 

Seriously, think about it.
Have you ever actually been comfortable with someone driving like that while you’re sitting in the passenger seat?

 

Like all that says to me is that you’re brand new at driving.
Or you’re lost.
Or you’ve been abducted and are forced to drive this car.
Basically you can’t get comfortable.
Which makes me uncomfortable.

10 and 2 and you start moving your head towards the windshield like, is that a meteorite…?
Forget, it’s fucking over.
Get me out of the car.

 

Oh yeah, so check this out.
I think I met the best Uber driver ever last night.
He is Armenian but he grew up in Russia.

I’m always fascinated by people that can fluently speak more than one language, simply because I can’t.
Anyway, we start talking and somehow, we get onto the subject of cursing.

Save it.
I can hear you from here.

 

So we’re talking and I ask him, “hey how do you say go fuck yourself in Russian?”
And he’s like, ah in America, everything is about fuck!
Go fuck you, go fuck your mother, what the fuck is that, everything is about fuck!

In Russia, he says,  instead of saying go fuck yourself, they say ‘go sit on dick’.
Which I like.
That sounds very Russian.
Very poignant.

 

They have another one where they don’t call anyone a motherfucker.
They say ‘fuck your mother’.

Not like go have sex with your mom, but like fuck your mother for doing such a horrible job of raising this fucking asshole that the rest of us now have to deal with.

Which I really like.
It actually sounds way more intellectual than what we say around here.

We say shit like, “Man, fuck this asshole!”
But to say fuck your mother for doing such a lousy job of raising you that we now have to have this conversation…
I mean – I really liked that one.

 

He goes, The other day, I see this man, he’s 28 years old and he’s dressed like a child in the 1920s.
I’m like you mean Hipsters?
And he’s like, Yeah! This mans not fit to run a household, look at him! This man’s not a king!

This guy was fucking hilarious.
He had all sorts of opinions about us.
Seriously, one of the best Uber rides ever.

 

And speaking of leaders, I wanna talk about Donald Trump.
Real quick, real quick.

 

You guys all saw the announcement that Donald Trump is actually running for fucking president in the 2016 elections, right?
Did you see the way he drew it out?

“So I…….Donald Trump……… *death-stare at crowd*…………..am announcing……….*pause for effect*…….my candidacy………..for president………. of the -“
It’s like we got it Donald, we got it.
We understand.

But then you listen to him talk…
The pretty much racist comments he made about immigrants, this guy…
He’s not a fucking politician.
He’s not our next president.

Who the fuck is going to vote for a deliberate racist??
I mean, for real though?
For real Donald??

We didn’t vote for you the last time you tried running, we sure as fuck not voting for you next year.
Come to think about it – he didn’t even make the g*ddamn primaries last time.
He was out of the race in like 3 months or something, wasn’t he?

Ah fuck it.
I hope he continues to get the shit kicked out of him.

 

Sorry guys.
I apologize  for the political derailment.
I normally don’t get into that shit here, but then I found someone dumber than me and his name is Donald Trump.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roasted Carrots with Honey & Feta Crumbles

 

What I Used.

A handful of Carrots. ¼ cup Feta Cheese Crumbles. 2 tbsp Pure Honey (substitute: Blue Agave or Maple Syrup). Olive Oil. Salt. Pepper.

What I Did.

I somehow got trapped in the Instagram rabbit hole and came across a picture that inspired this recipe.
It’s ridiculously easy.

Preheat the oven to 450F.
Rinse and shake out the carrots.
carrot_recipes
Then peel them, cutting the green stems off.
Pat-dry any excess water.
http://ivegotcake.com
I wanted to see if I could preserve some of the green stems in the baking process so when I cut the green off, I left a few inches on.
It didn’t work. 
They turned brown real quick.
So cut the whole stem the fuck off, alright?

Line a baking rack/tray with tinfoil and place the carrots on it.
Generously drizzle olive oil over the carrots, shaking them around in the tray.
Season with a good sprinkling of salt & pepper.
http://ivegotcake.com

 

Place them in the oven to roast for 30 mins or until they can be easily penetrated with a fork.
Remove from oven.

Serve by drizzling the honey over the carrots and topping with the feta crumbles.
http://ivegotcake.com Roasted Carrots & Honey with Feta Crumbles Dana_Fashina_recipes
I roasted them a little too long and charred them a bit but whatever –
Shit was fucking delicious.
Side_dish_vegetable_recipes

87 Comments

  1. Hey Dana!
    Love this recipe. Looks like a good tv-snack or something. But what I love so much more is your intro. Seriously hilarious. That little cultural discourse on russian cursing was amazing 😀
    And no need for an apology, Donald Trump is the most disillusioned somewhat.
    Have a lovely 4th of july weekend.
    xx Lou

  2. Simple and pretty delicious looking, you out do yourself all the damn time. I LOVE IT. This is how I would like to eat my carrots from now on! All those colours, contrasts. Yes this is how I want to eat my carrots from now on. On to the market I go!
    xx

  3. I’m so glad my commute only involves walking from room to room sometimes. LOL I live in a relatively small town. Traffic to use is 20 cars at the Main Street light. I can only imagine what it’s like it Boston. Nah, I don’t fucking even want to imagine it. I’m sure it’s like the hell-hole Houston I left so many years ago. So what are your plans this holiday weekend? Sunday brunch party I’m sure. 😉

    1. Yeah you definitely don’t wanna imagine it, it’s horrific. Absolutely horrific.
      Sunday we’re actually forgoing brunch for……..*Donald trump pause*………the water park!!
      😁😁😁

  4. Feta with roasted carrots? Um, yes please! Those look amazing, so I’ll be making them soon!
    And your sidetrack topics are hilarious… I feel as though we’re in the middle of a conversation when I read your posts. Well done.

  5. Haha, we just love your story! It’s always cool to meet people from another place, because their thinking is so different! And your recipe is really great! We need to try that out!! Although we haven’t seen these kinds of carrots here 😉

    1. Hey guys!!
      Yes, I love the variation across countries, I just think it’s so cool!
      You guys should try the recipe, it works perfectly with just plain old carrots too, hee hee
      ❤❤❤

  6. Well, I for one would never vote for that combed over dickhead. But I will always vote for your super entertaining rages against the machine and for delicous pretty coloured carrots with cheese. (And the Easter bunny, will always vote for him or is that her?)

    1. I mean seriously.
      The man can’t even be honest about his hair and I’m gonna trust him with my country??
      Yeah fucking right.
      And I feel like the Easter Bunny is a female…I just can’t imagine some guy hopping around, hiding colorful eggs…

  7. I loooooove getting my drivers talking. The BEST effing stories.
    Also, did you hear Donald is second in the GOP polls? Like, I’m really not sure who they are polling but…
    & yasss to carrots. Gorg

    1. I heard!
      Imagine how the other republicans feel right about now.
      They’re confused as fuck like the rest of us.
      And I NEVER get polled so I have no idea where the hell they’re getting these numbers from.

  8. Ok, shit – a recipe I could really try! And I mean, ASAP.

    I feel you on the shitty driving – when I lived in the capital during my university years, travelling around town was a fucking nightmare because everyone was getting out, and everyone consisted of 20% good drivers (30 tops) and 80% assholes which shouldn’t be allowed to operate with anything more complicated than a vegetable peeler. And I wasn’t even a driver back then but I was totally pissed off, and now I’m just going ballistic. My man says I’m really scary when angry at lousy drivers, even in the passenger seat! 😀

    Oh, and P.S. Trump can go screw himself. He was never good enough for something more serious than his 5-minute marriages.

    1. Exactly girl!
      NBC, Macys…all his sponsors have dropped him (Donald Trump) and New York city is reviewing the contracts between them and all his properties. They’re trying to find a way to drop him too.

      The mans a fucking dope.
      Go make this 😀
      xx

      1. I’m making it tomorrow because I don’t have carrots right now, and I’m too lazy to go get some.

        Happy 4th of July weekend to you, and have a great time!

  9. The sad part about the Donald Trump thing… His “people” are making excuses for his behavior. I sometimes watch Fox just to see what kind of ignorance they’re going to come up with and, alongside blaming President Obama for Nascar taking the confederate flag down, when they started talking about The Donald they basically said “wouldn’t you want a president that’s not afraid to speak his mind”? Smh.

  10. That Uber driver really sounds like a lot of fun 😉 I imagine that the cities must actually be quite nice on that weekend, if everyone is gone 😀 The feta sounds really delicious with the carrots, never thought to put that together!

  11. LOL the hipsters comment was too funny. I live right across the George Washington Bridge and people either flock to NYC or go down to the shore. Uh.. I’m planning on going to to shore. Fingers crossed! I hope you have a fantastic weekend ❤

  12. This dish looks like magic and that driver sounds like a riot. I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall, stuffing my face with these carrots 🙂
    By the way, I have a tall friend who steers with his knees – 10 and 2 be damned!
    Happy 4th x

  13. LMAO honey you’re too much. That first rant needs to be a video clip. lmao. And ‘fuck your mother’ it will be from now on. I LOVES IT.
    As for Donald Trump, i feel like his friends and family must be lying to him. Like surely he must know he’s unpopular. Either that or he’s a egotistical prick. (I vote the latter). He’s so far up his own arse I can’t even deal.

    Those carrots look yummy . what a quick and simple dish! Enjoy your 4th of July holiday. xx

    http://www.artbecomesyou.com

    1. It is indeed the latter.
      He’s just so rich and so popular that failure and ineligibility isn’t something he can conceive.
      Which is a great trait if you’re young and hungry for success but not when you’re running to be the president of the United States.
      You need a certain level of REALITY for that one.

      Love you lovebug, hope you’re having a great weekend!
      xxoo

  14. We’re still shaking our heads about The Donald. What an asshole.
    We’ve met some pretty interesting Uber drivers too, as well as cabbies in NYC. One claimed he managed Frank Sinatra!
    Roasted root vegetables are my favourite! These heirloom carrots look gorgeous and I bet they were wonderful with the feta cheese.

    1. Hey Eva, yes they were!
      I can’t believe I haven’t tried this until now, ugh.
      As for The Donald…Eva he called them motherfuckers.

      Donald Trump goes, “We’re gonna get every one of those motherfuckers…”
      Like what the FUCK!?
      This is our guy?
      No.
      No no no no no.

  15. I was taught to drive with hands at 9 & 3. The reasoning is that you can pretty much leave your hands on the steering wheel and do 1/2 of the wheel rotation without picking up your hands. At 10 & 2 it is impossible to turn the steering wheel as far without pickup up your hands and crossing over to keep the steering wheel turning…. HA! I really wish suicide knobs were legal. I’d have one…
    Trump? YOU’RE FIRED! That is all.
    These carrots are gorgeous! Almost as gorgeous as you…
    Happy 4th My Boston Blogger Friend! xoxo

  16. I had to google the Donald Trump thing as I didn’t see it over here….what a dick head!
    The carrots are so beautiful, the finished dish reminds me of a Jackson Pollock painting… and I love Jackson Pollock! One for me recipe box….. hope you had a holiday weekend

  17. Love it one you do vegetarian recipes! The carrots look so fresh I could taste them through this screen lol! Your plating is master chef level 😍😍!! Love ittttt

  18. Looks beautiful & delish; well done m’lady! As for Donald Trump, little A just told me about this & I thought about you right away. Dear Mr. Trump, forgive me, Fuckwad Trump, I agree with my friend Dana here & I’m not gonna hold her back from bitch slapping you, I’ll gladly join her in that though. And m’lady, you’re allowed to rant all you want about this, even though I know you wont. Thanks for bringing it up!

  19. Oh Dana, I know I can ALWAYS count on you to bring truly important and life changing news to the masses. Cursing in Russian should be a core requirement for every student at basically any self-respecting educational institution that cares about the well being of future generations by positively shaping their young minds and bodies into intelligent, well-versed members of society. However, while I’m not absolutely sure, I have a feeling that some people who are told “go sit on a dick” might actually be more than happy to do just that… and like it… really like it! And I won’t judge them either, ha! Anyway, I didn’t know you had a house in Martha’s Vineyard? What else have you been hiding? 🙂

    And as far as Donald Trump is concerned, I think you summed all that up rather nicely. I guess he’ll just have to stick to judging pageants… oh wait…

    1. LMAOO!
      You always crack me up!
      I could just picture you saying that first sentence with a sarcastic smile lol! Damn, I wish you were closer!

      And for those that like sitting on dick, to them I say, ‘Fuck your mother’
      *wide smile*

  20. Ha! Thank you for making me laugh on a Monday of all days.. and thanks for making carrots looks super sexy… yeah i just called carrots sexy….. my bad

  21. I’m still learning to drive, though I should probably go and sit my next test soon. I drive like a grandma, or at least I try to. If I go over the speed limit in my test, I fail so I want to get used to driving at the speed limit to see what that feels like. Of course it drives my husband CRAZY. 😀

    Your carrots are so pretty! You need a bunny to feed those green tops to. Tofu goes INSANE for those tops.

    It always amazes me the people the run for president prime minister etc. Just because you have money, it doesn’t mean you know shit about what the people need or want.

    1. Oh my God it would drive me crazy too.
      I would like to have books on tape playing on the CD. Something suspenseful too, take me out of the moment, TRANSPORT ME, just so I wouldn’t have to pay attention to your driving. I
      I am THE WORST.

      1. Basically, he takes the car during the week to get to work and I drive us around in the weekends. Generally speaking, no one complains about the sober driver’s grandma driving style. But if they did, I’d say to you, “Shut your face or take an Uber”. In the nicest possible way of course. I have been riding with Uber a lot lately though. Must be drinking a lot lately!

  22. This is so pretty. I have gotten to the point where I can eat shredded carrot more frequently, but for whatever reason roasted carrots have yet to make me swoon. My local market sells baby carrots of many colors, though, so maybe I need to revisit them with some good goat cheese (instead of feta) and some honey.

Go on, get it out..

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