I swear to God you can’t escape Donald Trump, you literally cannot.
He’s on every media station all the time but all I can focus on is his fucking hairline.
Let’s give it up to the people who make hair plugs.
They’re really doing a hell of a job because you know they must have started off absolutely horrific.
I think Elton John was like the first one or something.
Like the top of his head looked like hairy knees by the time they were done with it.
And now he’s got to wear that little pageboy haircut for the rest of time, poor fella.
Why am I talking about Elton John? Let’s get back to Donald Trumps hairline.
So then they went with the ant leg ones, in like the 90s, you remember those, the insect like ones?
Where you just couldn’t stop looking at it, it was literally sewn into your fucking head, people used to call it doll hair.
And now they’ve gotten to the point where they just sort of sprinkle it in.
I think they vacuum it out the back and put it on a tray and then a fairy comes by and takes the tray and just sort of skips around and around your head going, tralalalalala and they just drop it in.
And it looks very natural, evidently.
But then what happens is, those ones can survive whatever hell is going on underneath your scalp, but the other ones that weren’t built for it, they still fall out so you gotta get reseated again.
That’s the fucked up thing about plastic surgery…your face, your hairline, it all becomes a lie, you know?
You know what I mean?
They’re attracted to who you really aren’t.
Like what if its the nose that gets the person going?
But that’s not your real nose…
And then you bang and have a kid and then you’re like, what the fuck happened to that kids nose???
Did you cheat one me!!??!
Did you cheat on me, you fucking whore!!??!!
And then she takes out her high school year book and is like, no this is what I really look like.
And every time your kid starts walking towards you with that crooked fucking nose, you’re like, I can’t believe this bitch lied to me.
One of the ways I get inspiration for what to cook is from menus.
I am forever taking screenshots of the list of ingredients in a dish or pictures of its visual presentation so that I can go home and recreate it later.
If you’ve ever eaten at Toro in NY or the one here in Boston, then you’ll recognize this shit immediately.
This is my take on their Mexican Street Corn.
Making this also gave me a chance to try out this lactose-free version of parmesan cheese that I discovered a couple weeks ago.
It’s by a company called GoVeg and for once, finally…. it actually tastes like the real deal.
Spicy Street Corn
What I Used
4-5 Ears of Corn. Salt. Pepper. Smoked Paprika. Cayenne Pepper. Olive Oil. 1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese.
What I Did
Shuck the corn.
Sprinkle with salt & pepper.
Drizzle generously with olive oil.
Broil or grill for about 10 mins on either side.
Less, depending on your oven.
When both sides are properly browned, remove from oven.