You know a few weeks ago, someone was asking me, they wanted to break up with someone and they were asking me how to do it.
Now there are a couple class act ways to go about this but if you don’t have time for all that, just listen to LL Cool Js, Big Ol Butt.

 

I don’t know why I never really listened to this song but I heard it recently, I was listening to LL Cool J and it rolled up on the side as a suggested song I play next and I listened to it and it is literally the perfect break up song.

He basically teaches you how to break up with a girl in that track.
He breaks it down in like, 11 seconds.

He just sits his girl down.
Wait, let me back up.

 

He’s hanging out in some sunglass shop, Sunglass Hut or some shit like that, and this girl walks in with just an enormous butt.
Bigger than mine, I’m talking insane.

And he does what every guy does.
He stares at it and thinks, I wanna fuck that but oh shit, I have a girlfriend.

 

So what does he do?
Does he sneak around on her??

NO!

 

He goes home, he sits her down and says listen,

I met this girl named Tina, ok?
Tina’s got a big ol butt.
I know I said that I’ll be true, but Tina got a big ol’ butt, so I’m leaving you.

I’m really butchering this song but that’s basically what he said.

 

And I mean, that’s just fucking air tight, you can’t fuck with that.

He was 100% honest.
I don’t even know if she can get mad…

I think women expect guys to just be such lying pieces of shit that if you actually hit them with that level of honesty, I think they would just be stunned.
Just like the chick in the video.

Like I don’t think that was bad acting.

 

I think if you came home and just said listen, I met this girl, I know that I said that I’d be faithful to you but she’s better looking so I’m breaking up with you….I mean, what is the comeback?

That would be like if your chick came home and said listen, I know we’re together but this guy, I met him at the mall, his dick is twice the size of yours and he has a better car than you so I’m leaving you.

What are you gonna do??

You guys already discussed the importance of honesty early on in the relationship, so I mean….?

 

Look all I’m saying, is that it’s the middle of March – so how about you use the rest of the month to get out of whatever relationship you’re in that you don’t wanna be in.
Do you really wanna be in this relationship that you’re in, in the beginning of April?

Why don’t you celebrate the end of March by getting out of this fucking relationship.

Just go with LL Cool J vibe.
Hold her hand or his hand, and go with straight honesty.

And what are they really gonna do?

 

Sure they’re gonna flip the fuck out, of course they are, but the dye has already been cast.

The ship has set sail, the ball is already rolling, the sun is setting, the rain is falling, whatever the fuck you wanna call it – it’s out there.

They’re gonna scream and yell but I mean really, how long can someone yell before they lose their voice, right?
An hour?
An hour and a half?

Just say to yourself, in a 90 mins, I’m gonna be in the car, listening to LL Cool J, driving away from that thing I didn’t wanna be in.

 

And I know I talk a lot of shit but I think a lot of people are in situations like this.
They don’t know how to sit somebody down and just say, so I’m leaving you.

Get that twinkle back in your eye, get out of it.,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oysters & Caviar

What I Used

2 Dozen Oysters. Salmon Roe (caviar).

Dressing # 1: 1/2 cup Seasoned Rice Vinegar. 1 large Shallot (minced). 2 tbsp Fresh Cilantro (diced). Salt. Pepper.
Dressing #2: 2 tsp Shallots (minced). 2 tsbp Champagne Vinegar. 1 tbsp Seasoned Rice Vinegar. Fresh Cracked Pepper. Lemon (garnish).

What I Did

Just for the record, if I post something like oysters, something that basically requires no real work –  that’s essentially either me saying I was too lazy to come up with something decent or I was feeling uninspired.

It was the latter in this case but that’s why oysters are the shiiiiiiiiiit.

 

Make the vinaigrette dressing by combining all the ingredients for each dressing, separately.
Vinaigrette_dressing_for_oysters
Set aside.

 

Gather those lovely oysters and scrub them under cool water.
http://ivegotcake.com
Then using an oyster knife, shuck them, careful to preserve their juice.
Dana_fashina_oyster_recipe

 

Serve on ice and with each dressing.
http://ivegotcake.comhttp://ivegotcake.comhttp://ivegotcake.com http://ivegotcake.com
This is what happens when you have people over and can’t think of shit to cook.
You shuck some damn oysters and watch everyone shut the fuck up.
raw_oyster_recipes oysters_plating_ideaways_to_serve_raw_oystershttp://ivegotcake.com
Side Note:
Because the caviar is already so salty, you really don’t need the dressing.

Caviar is literally THE perfect compliment to oysters.
beautiful_presentation_of_oysters easier_oyster_ideas dana_fashina_recipes

By the way, this break up thing? It works for friendships too.

Just saying…
raw_appetizers pretty_food_plating

41 Comments

  1. Great, now I’m gonna have to go seek and listen to that song… I love LL Cool J did you ever hear the one on “Mama Said Knock You Out” called “Milky Cereal”? Nobody has ever. I sold that CD (back in the were all the rage). Wish I hadn’t now just to listen to that song.
    These oysters and caviar too?!?!? nom nom nom nom! Ever tried Tobasco Chipotle?
    I’ll shut up now.

  2. I don’t think anybody has the juice to actually break up in that manner IRL. I like it, though – something I would do. I wish a ni**a would… really!! Relationships would be so much better.

    This recipe is a little ballsy for me. Maybe one day I’ll try.

    1. Hahahahahaha!!
      I posted this because me and my dude were actually debating on the proper way to break up with someone.
      And I was like, just fucking be honest, and he was all, “Well you can’t hurt the other persons feelings…”

      me: *looking crazy at him* You’re trying to break up with someone…we’re past feelings, homie.

      1. Girl, it is a mum who killed 2 of her kids and kept them in the freezer. I think she is sick. No remorse, Not apologetic. I will not be sending my kids for sleep overs, NO WAY. Yes, check it out.

  3. This looks divine…..now as for that break up advice……it sounds good in theory but in reality I feel like it would go all the way left. #brutalhonesty #mightgetsomeoneabeatdown

  4. I had never heard LL Cool J’s song Big Ole Butt, so I had to immediately go on you tube to listen and once I had stopped cringing at the cheesiness of it, I have to admit that it contains sound advice. Sit the person down and be honest with them, what can go wrong. Yes, it’ll be difficult and awkward and you will feel awful but its better in the long run than being an a relationship you don’t want to be in. Caviar and Oysters, sorry I must be so unsophisticated and common as I’ve never tried them before!

  5. Perfect timing Dana. My 4 year relationship just ended o Wednesday! I’m so relived that he broke up with me because I was too lazy to do it. Granted, the bastard’s reason was because I called him on my way to work but failed to text him when I woke up. Oh lord I’m glad that’s over. I wish I would have sat him down and ended it years ago!!

  6. Well, we’re in the midst of doing this in a way (it’ll make much more sense when I can post about it–trust when I say it’s all good) and it’s definitely feeling good so this post is excellent timing. I’m going to have to get some oysters from down the street and pair them with caviar because it looks that good and eff me, I’m mad I didn’t think of pairing these together sooner.

    1. Girl please, the food pairings you have on your blog…all I can do is shake my head to myself and quietly screenshot them.

      As for the other thing, really happy to hear that babe, like for real. It’s not always a bad thing.
      I’ll try and be patient for that post but it’s already hard lol

  7. Sound advice, honesty is always the best policy hahaha. You tell it in such a funny way! 🙂 Very practical too, but really funny. I like how you consider how long someone is actually going to be screaming at you and you think, you know at some point I’m going to be done with this conversation and back in my car driving away. Eye on the prize lol. As always, gorgeous photography and delicious-looking food!

  8. Now I’ve gotta go and listen to that track again. There is something to be said for raw honesty…it refreshing even if it hurst a little at the time. And at least you know why 🙂
    These oysters look delicious.

    xo, Jackie
    stylemydreams.com

  9. I know the subject of breaking up is serious and sad…but seriously …..you are so funny. And yes, honesty is key…otherwise what is the use?
    Oysters and Caviar ! You are killing me !!!!! Love, Love, Love !!!!!

  10. What happened to the good ole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line?? 😂 (Nothing lazy about opening oysters Cake.) I can envisage that combo. Fresh plump oysters and the salty pop of caviar, totes luxe. I will need to try soon.

  11. Ooooooooh get out of my head Dana (is it pronounced Day-na or Da-na like banana ?) … anyways, you beat me to it (but friends don’t compete ! LMAO) Sooooo, as i was saying, I was going to buy fresh oysters at my Friday friendly-neighborhood outdoor market tomorrow & I was planning to make a simple recipe too with oysters as back-up singers (just cuz they’re sexy). Anyways, I shall be true to my plan (and stop using the past tense) and go ahead with it, so we could combine our recipes and live happily ever after … You got sexy oysters ! … 😉

    1. Hahahahaha!!! This is too damn funny!!
      Oysters really are sexy as hell, I mean look at them. All sleek and slippery…
      They taste sexy and take some sexy ass pictures too, haha.

      I really hope you ended up making your original plan, I’m gonna be checking in on your blog to see because you take some DOPE pictures!

      Oh and it’s the first one, Day-na.
      ❤ ❤

  12. I would love to see your break up advice written in the Agony Aunt pages of Marie Claire, Cosmo, Glamour etc, I would pay sssuch good money to make it so!! hahhaha, you crazy biatch, I remember that song, I used to have THE biggest crush on LL.
    And erm, nothing on earth would make me put either oysters or caviar in me gob but you do make ’em look good! ( :

Go on, get it out..

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