Brown Rice Bowl

Last week was a fucking brutal week man.
I lost my fucking shit.

My temper has never been worse, I need to fucking relax.


I was working really late the other day and all I wanted when I got home, was some basil fried rice from this restaurant in Porter Square.

They got this fucking Thai joint that makes fried rice like no one’s business.

They grow their own basil and the flavor combination is like no other so I’m craving it, and I tell myself as I leave work I’m like, I’m fucking getting that tonight.


So I get on the phone and call them and ask if they can deliver it to me.
They said it would take about an hour.



I asked them how long it would take if I just came and got it and they said about 15 mins.
I said ok, ordered the fried rice and at the last min, added an appetizer order of crispy fried shrimp.

She said it’d be about the same time, 15 mins.
I said ok and hung up.


So I fucking drive over there and of course it’s jam packed with people.
I say, yeah hey, I’m picking up an order and she goes, oh is that for the basil fried rice and the crispy shrimp??

I was like, yeah it was.

She goes, oh we ran out of the crispy shrimp ….so I didn’t put it in…..
And….I swear to god..

It’s like, I fucking called 20 mins ago!
It took 20 mins to figure out you were out of shrimp!!?!


Instead I just said, you know what, hang on a second –
Because I knew I was gonna snap..

And I just walked out of the restaurant.


And the second I was out I stared going f*&% sh*& c&%t sucking mother&$@#* what the fuck is so hard about taking c*&k bi@#! goddamn as*&%%# c&@t!!

Flipping out right?


Wasn’t screaming, just, fucking c*@k su*%$ing piece of s$%& mo@#&(^%$! –
through gritted teeth, that type of thing.

From far way it probably sounded like I was speaking German but it was cock sucking &*!@$%^&^%$((*& motherfucker!!

And I hear these people.

There were these two people who were eating outside and they saw me flipping out quietly to myself and just started laughing their ass off at me.
They didn’t give a shit I saw them and neither did I.



You know I go through these great periods where it’s like – I got it under control, I got it under control –
And then it just slowly….you know…spins out of control.

And right now, I’m not drinking a lot.
I’m smoking a little weed but nothing crazy.

I’m working out a ton, eating super clean during the week, the whole nine and it’s just like…. something was bound to give, right?

Who are these people who are always able to keep it all together?


These fucking do-gooders.
Nothing ever bothers them, they just go with the flow.

Who ARE you people??


Or maybe I’m just a piece of shit who couldn’t deal with waiting another 15 mins.
I don’t fucking know but I figure I gotta relax.


So this post is coming to you from San Juan.

Not thinking about nothing besides what bikini I’m going to wear tomorrow.

So before I unpair my computer from my phone, here’s a recipe that you probably should make for lunch this week.
Because you still gotta work.
















Brown Rice Bowl


What I Used

1 small Cucumber. 1 small handful Cilantro. 0.5lbs Sirloin Beef (at least 80% lean). 1 small handful Cabbage (shredded). 1 small handful Carrots (shredded). 1 small handful Fresh Basil Leaves. 1 Egg. Soy Sauce (low-sodium). Sriracha Sauce. Salt. Pepper. Sesame Seeds (optional).

What I Did

It’s been a long time since I ate red meat, let alone touched it but I’ve been into bowls lately and this shit was sooo goooooood.
This is happy food right here.


Cook the rice according to its instructions and set aside.

Roughly chop or shred all the vegetables and set aside,
Cook the kale like I did when I make this noodle bowl.
Set aside.

Make the peanut sauce from this Chicken Noodle Bowl recipe too.

Thinly slice the beef into strips and saute in 2 tbsp olive oil in a wok.

Add to the meat, 3 tbsp soy sauce.
Cook, until it achieves the temp you like.

Right before serving, fry an egg.


Serve by spooning the rice into a bowl and scooping the rest of the ingredients around it, placing the egg on top as last.
Add whatever other shit you want to this, I mean that’s why this works.
Mixing random shit together is tremendously rewarding.

59 thoughts on “Brown Rice Bowl

  1. I’m loving the marble and seriously such a real post haha I internalize a lot of things which isn’t heathy at all. It’s good to get that out, customer service issues like that always always irk me. Just a bit of communication goes a long way! So glad you’re on vacay girl you absolutely deserve it!

  2. Hahahaha I thought for sure you were gonna go off on those people! Glad you didn’t & you’re gonna show off that bod in a bikini & relax. Lol I’m cracking up.

  3. you know you’re brilliant for this post right? I think you handled that shrimp situation well, VERY well, because there is nothing like a craving let-down late at night, smh. Enjoy PR, you deserve bikini weather, if not for the stress you’re enduring, for that bikini body you work so hard for. 🙂

  4. Enjoy the beach!

    And the Porter Square shrimp situation is bad, but not as bad as the time a few years ago when the KFC near me ran out of chicken. I’m completely serious. KFC ran out of chicken. I mean… how do you do that?

      1. I completely agree. I can’t even remember why we were trying to get KFC. We probably have it about once every two years, and even then it’s usually out of desperation like we’re on a road trip and it’s past lunch time and everyone is starving and there’s a KFC and… Oh. Okay. Fine. We’ll eat KFC. Serves us right for trying to eat at KFC near home when there are hundreds of better options available. The one day we try to get KFC they run out of chicken. Oh well, my arteries thanked me.

  5. I fee like last week was really, really brutal for so many people and don’t I wish we all could jet off to San Juan! Enjoy your stay there, try to relax a ton, and take it the eff easy.

  6. People always think I have it together 24/7, and I’m good at making it look like I do. BUT, I do snap every once in a while, which usually involves crying for hours. We all have different ways of releasing our built-up crap, just sometimes it isn’t as obvious as anger….but yeah, no one has it together. We all just pretend we do!

  7. Sorry you had such a stressful week. I know exactly how you feel when everything is stressing you out and you’re trying real hard not to snap… and then bam, you snap! And it’s always something smaller that sets me off. Been there, done that and wrote effing book!lol
    Enjoy the sun and recharge your batteries! You deserve some me time boo!

    xo, jackie

  8. Thanks for the bowl of goodness and Cake rant before I go to work. (Albeit only two days so it ain’t that bad.) Enjoy that holiday Cake. A bit o sun and relaxation will make everything seem a little more ‘sunshiney’. 😊

  9. I can imagine how stressed you must been. This things happen sometimes D. Take care of you though. All is well, BELIEVE
    Enjoy every bit of sunshine. You don’t need luck, you are a ray of sunshine yourself. Plate looks FAB as always. Take care.

  10. I would have defo lost my shit about the crispy shrimp thing… but possibly wouldn’t have bothered about packing a bikini. Or maybe I would’ve. I reckon it looks better on you anyway.
    I would be very happy to pu t this bowl of goodness on our restaurant menu… in fact, I might just go and put it on my restaurant menu right now 🙂
    Love yer work D. I always love yer work.

  11. As someone who takes their food VERY seriously, I can so relate to your flipping out over that. Phew, I would be LIT. I love brown rice bowls, I’ll dump anything on brown rice; I actually prefer it to white. Better texture. Enjoy the beach and sun girl 😉

  12. ha ha – I have had a long weekend that has included some small meltdowns with lots of swearing – especially at hurdles. That bowl looks so good, I could eat it all right up now. Have a lovely holiday 🙂

  13. Oh my foodness, I love your bowls! They’re so wholesome and healthy, and look absolutely delicious. I adored the chicken noodle bowl from last month, and this looks amazing too! 🙂

  14. Rawrrr that ish makes me fume, tooooooooo. Call me back & tell me they don’t have my scrimps, geeze louise. That’s enough to make you deserve a vacay, for sure. Loving your San Juan pics on insta, too! Have SO MUCH FUN!!!!!

  15. These bowls are totally rocking, so fresh! And that egg looks awesome!
    When I first became the manager of the National Marketing Creative Services department (a lifetime ago), I had a hot-headed Irish boss-lady, who, on more than one occasion lost her cool and made grown men cry. Not cool. She tried it on one of my staff and I laid into her, because 1. It’s disrespectful and 2. My girl was totally useless for the rest of the day. She never did it again to my staff. You know how you learn by example? This type of behaviour was an example I did not want to emulate. Ever. No matter how stressed I got. We do it all the time with email (I intentionally leave off the address to make sure I don’t inadvertently hit send on a message I will definitely regret), sometimes you just need to spew (and boy, it makes me type fast!!). Same can be done with real life, count to ten and move on. Life is way too short to get hung up on the meaningless shit. Of course, no holds barred in the car, I’m that loon screaming her head off at the driver in front of me! Or I could be singing. Not. Ha!

    1. Hahahaha!!
      Cracking up at “or I could be singing!” Me tooooooo!!

      I do that too, Eva!
      Type out the angry reply I WANT to say but cant and then later go back and delete it from my drafts.
      Sometimes these quiet ways of unleashing that evil is the best way to do it.

  16. So that looks really fucking good. With the black sesame seeds. It looks especially good because (a) I no longer eat processed rice (argghh) and (b) eggs and I are besties no more. DOUBLE ARGHH. I’m going to try doing another version of this though only god knows what can replace the goey orgasmic goodness of a sunny side up. Sigh. I love you. I really do xoxo

Go on, get it out..

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