And just like that it’s graduation season again.
Which means my city becomes an absolute nightmare.
Traffic comes to a halt, there’s no place to park, people are crossing the street without looking – it’s a fucking shitshow.
God, I remember this one graduation I went to a few years ago.
The thing fucking thing was outdoors, started at like 8:30 in the morning and went on forever.
By the end of it, people just started to leave.
I’m talking whole groups of families were literally walking out.
This was one of those colleges where there were tons of students graduating, I’m talking thousands where like an hour later they were still in the Bs.
I remember we were sitting next to this one family and you could see the dad slowly start to snap.
The more time went by, the more psycho this fucking guy got.
But in all fairness it wasn’t just him.
Bartnett, Michael…Barrow, Sarah….Brown, Andrew…Brown, Anthony…Brown Andrea….
By the time they got into the Ms, people were doing everything they could to get through it.
Some people had entirely checked out and were just sort of sitting looking out the side of their head at the person next to them like, are you fucking kidding me? Still???
Other people were doing what’s known as the confessional pose – where you’re seated and have your elbows on your knees, hands clamped in front of you, head hung low, whispering to yourself.
There was A LOT of that going on.
There were the people that didn’t even bother hiding their disgust, just looking around behind them like, you gotta be shitting me, YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME!!!!
This guy I’m talking about, the dad, at one point he literally put his hands out like –
You know when the referee makes a fucked up call, so fucked up even the head coach doesn’t even know what it is. So they review it among all the other refs and then they come to a decision and don’t inform the coach and he’s got his hands out, waving them around like am I fucked? Am I going to come out all right?? What the fuck is going on???
That was this guy.
Seriously though, congratulations to the class of 2016 graduates, mad love and respect to you guys but jeeeesus christ.
Crab Cake Benedict
What I Used
¼ cup Mayonnaise (vegan mayo for me). 2 Scallions (finely chopped). 1 Large Egg. 1 tbsp Dijon mustard. 2 tsp Old Bay seasoning. 1 tsp Lime Juice. 1 lb Lump Crabmeat. 1 ½ cup panko breadcrumbs (plus an additional ½ cup). 2 tbsp Toasted Sesame Seeds. Salt. Pepper. Olive Oil. Cooking Spray.
What I Did
You’ll notice I didn’t include the recipe for the hollandaise sauce and that’s only because I didn’t use hollandaise sauce here.
I had a leftover mixture of spicy peanut sauce from something I made earlier in the week and used that instead.
Largely because I was being a lazy fuck.
But here’s another instance where I made Eggs Benedict and for that I made the hollandaise sauce from scratch (aka eggs) which turned out amazingggg.
Place all the ingredients in a bowl and mix together by hand.
Try not to over mix – just mix it enough to integrate all the ingredients.
Refrigerate the mixture for about 15 mins to chill the mixture and make it easier to form into a patty later.
When you’re ready to cook the crab cakes, preheat the oven to 375F.
Heat a little olive oil in a large saute pan and add the crab patties to it.
Saute until the side down turns golden brown.
Then flip the patty and cook until the other side turns equally golden brown.
Place in the oven to finish cooking for 10-12 mins.
When you’re ready to eat, slice an english muffin in half and toast both side.
Poach a couple eggs.
Or fry them – no one says you have to poach them.
Serve by placing a few kale leaves on each half of the english muffin and stacking a crab cake on top.
Carefully place the egg on the crab cake and drizzle the hollandaise sauce over it.
Shake out a few seasame seeds to garnish is all.
Alternatively you can skip the carbs of the muffin and just serve with the egg on top.
Or have the crab cakes on their own with a spoon of tartar sauce on the side.