I’m a big fan of buying people something that they wear.
One of my friends was telling me the other day about how much he and his girlfriend have been fighting lately over small stuff, little things.
Out of the blue, little things that used to slide, now spawn a big ass fight.
Just out of nowhere, yall went from la-de-da-de-daaaaaaaa to UFC 199: The Terminator.
And I know that’s none of my business, but like I was saying, that’s why I’m a fan of buying people gifts that they could actually wear.
Because the more shit you buy them that they wear…clothes, necklace jewerly, whatever the fuck – the more shit you buy, the bigger the chance they’re to be wearing it the next time they’re bitching about something.
Then all you do is you just put your eyebrows up and as she’s meh meh meh meh meh, you just point to whatever you bought her.
Stops them right in their tracks.
What is that on your wrist again?
You got something on your wrist there, what is that?
And she looks down like, did I get something on my sleeve?
What’s wrong with my sleev –
No no no, right there on your wrist.
And then they look down and realize what you’re doing and they go, aww fuck you! and then you laugh and it’s over.
Tomato Flatbread Pizza
What I Used
2 Naan Flatbreads (any kind). 1 Large Tomato and 5-6 assorted smaller Tomatoes (rinsed and thinly sliced). 2 cups Coconut Cream. 1 – 2 tsp Cornstarch. 1 cup Ricotta Cheese (optional- sub in place of coconut milk & cornstarch).
What I Did
Right so because I’m lactose intolerant (aka miserable all the time), I made a simple white sauce by thickening coconut cream however if dairy is not a problem for you, ricotta cheese is what you want here.
Preheat your oven to 450F.
Lay the flatbreads on a flat surface and spread an even amount of ricotta cheese on it.
Alternatively, you can improvise a white sauce by heating 2 cups coconut cream under medium heat and gently shaking in 1 – 2 tsp cornstarch.
Use a whisk to mix to avoid an overly lumpy texture.
Shake in more cornstarch as needed until you reach a thickness you’re satisfied with, just bear in mind it thickens a little more when it cools.
Lay the flatbreads on a baking tray lined with parchment and spread the ricotta or coconut sauce on top.
Shake a light sprinkling of salt and pepper over the sauce or ricotta and lay the tomatoes slices neatly on top, trying not to overlap.
Place the flatbread in the broiler for about 10 mins or until the crust edges turn golden brown.
Remove from oven and set aside to rest for a couple mins.