I’ve been driving around with a dent in my car.

Some asshole backed into me while my car was parked and left a dent that looked like Bigfoot pushed in my rear quadrant.

Happened about a month ago and I finally got the goddamn thing fixed.
That was on Monday.

 

Thursday I go out to lunch with a friend, I valet my car.
One of those things you know where there’s room up front so you just park it yourself, right?

So I park my car, I go in for lunch, I eat lunch, I come back out and there’s a fucking dent in my car again!

The exact same spot, the exact same size, but now it’s on the other side.
And I swear to God –

 

You know I never understood the term, “I was beside myself.”
I never understood what the fuck that meant but… in that moment I got it.

It’s some sort of out of body experience.

I had to look at my license plate like 7 times like there’s no fucking way that’s my car. That can’t be my fucking car.

And I just kept looking down and it…it was my fucking car.

 

Then I look over at the valet guys, mind you my car is in the exact same spot I parked it in, I look over at the valet guys – and they’re not looking at me.

I came up there like, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR!??!!

I was so flustered, my voice went up like 9 octaves higher. I felt like I was going to faint.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR!!!??!!!!

 

And they’re all, I don’t know……somebody…. somebody hit it…
And I’m like, WHO hit it????

…..ahhhh si….. I don’t know, they,..we backed it over there and somebody…. somebody hit it.

And they gave me this sheet of paper to fill out, I guess they’re going to pay for it or whatever but what the fuck!

 

First of all, if you saw the fucking dent in this car, there’s no way these guys didn’t hear it.

And it wasn’t until I drove away that I started thinking about it and I pulled over and I’m looking at it the dent and it’s the exact same shape as the pole in that garage.

So obviously one of those fuckers drove it into a pole.
And then after they drove it into a pole, they put it back in the exact same spot I parked it, no wonder they were fucking looking down when I came out.

 

Ugh.

I just can’t fucking believe it man, this is so goddamn depressing.
Four days.

Had this thing fixed for fucking FOUR days and now it’s got another fucking dent in it.

It’s not like when my car didn’t have a dent in it, I started making fun of people who had a dent in their car so now there’s sort of dented car karma going around, christ!

 

So that’s it.
I have a dent in my car again and it’s so fucking frustrating.

 

And I’ll tell you what’s extra frustrating is they gave me a piece of paper with some ladys name on it and he’s like, “yeah, if she doesn’t call you in the next five days, give me a call.”

Like I said, I was so beside myself, I actually said ok.

It wasn’t until day three that it hit me like wait a minute – somebody doesn’t call me in the next five days??
How about the next five fucking minutes, fucking idiot, you ruined my car!

And then for some fucking reason you put in back in the same spot and hoped I wouldn’t notice, you 5′ 2″ fucking jackass.

Maybe that’s why he put a dent in it, couldn’t see over the fucking steering wheel!

 

Goddammit.

 

Alright, let’s move along.
This is what I did with the few sweet potatoes I had left over after I made these Sweet Potato Fries.

Sort of a odd thing right, sweet potato dip?

Sounds like something a vegan would ask for at a cookout while smiling that, I’m sorry I’m so complicated but this is what I expect smile.

Well now you can give that shit eating grin back at her like “here ya go, bitch.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spicy Sweet Potato Dip

 

What I Used.

3-4 med Sweet Potatoes. 1/4 cup Veganese (or some other dairy free form of mayo). 3 tbsp Sriracha Sauce. Chips for dipping.

What I Did.

 

Preheat your oven to 450F.

Wrap each potato in tin foil and place them on a baking tray.
When the oven is heated, place them on the bottom rack.

Bake for 35 mins or until they can be easily punctured through with a fork.
Set aside to cool.

 

When warm enough to handle, peel the skin off the sweet potatoes and place them in a large bowl.
Add to the bowl, the mayo and sriracha sauce.
http://ivegotcake.com
Using a fork or whisk, mix until creamy and smooth.

 

Serve with chips on the side.
vegan_chips_and_dipVegan_dips
This shit is good yall, real fucking good.

If you don’t finish it in one setting, it will keep for 2-3 days.
http://ivegotcake.com

72 Comments

      1. Go figure… That’s why I can’t fucks with those spots or valet in general. I’m convinced when I went to NY in a rented Chevy Tahoe, valet crashed the shit. Thankfully I put insurance on that shit too because if not, it would have been my problem.

      2. You can do that too! Shit, you have options now that I think about it lol

        Uber may be your best bet actually that way neither you or the person you are with has any issues 😂

  1. Ugh!! I’m frustrated for you. When your freakin’ car gets messed up and you have to put it in the body shop, it is all your problem. It’s never the person responsible, they don’t have to do without a car and drive a rental, leave work early to pick up drop off etc…. I’ve been there. It’s BULL SHIT! I’ve worked myself up for you girl!
    One question: Was there a security cam where your car was parked?

  2. Ugh–I hope they at least work to get it fixed for you quickly…ah, who am I kidding? It’s going to be a pulling-teeth kind of situation and that SUCKS.

  3. Fuck yeah – SP Dip! This is brilliant – thanks for sharing…

    (BTW, I totally get when a saying finally makes sense. I just wrapped my head around that “if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it did it fall” concept when I applied it to PR and marketing. Sorry about your car.)

  4. Getting hit in a parking lot is the WORST. I had that happen to me last year. Person never gets caught, and you’re stuck with the damage.

    Speaking of Bigfoot and cars, you might like to know that I have a decal on my rear windshield that shows an outline of Bigfoot with nothing else but the words “I Believe.”

    I would post a photo here, but I don’t think that’s possible to do, sadly. You will just have to imagine it.

    Believe in Bigfoot. Oh yes. Believe in Bigfoot.

    1. Hahahahahahah!!!
      I wish we could post pictures in the comments too, this shit would be hilarious!!

      What else are you going to tell me you believe in? Did your Bigfoot push in my goddamn panel??

      1. I can neither confirm nor deny that Bigfoot was responsible. Or it may have been one of those Pokemon things that all the kids are chasing these days.

      2. Yeah, they did. Pokemon GO. I don’t get it. I think it’s silly. But I did write something even sillier about it on my blog last night. Check it out when you get a chance.

  5. Sorry to hear about your car, thats so frustrating! And it’s even worst that the valet guys are the ones responsible for it and they didn’t even own up to it. Did they think you wouldn’t notice the dent? Losers!
    At least they’re paying for it.
    By the way that dip looks amazing!

    xo, jackie
    stylemydreams.com

  6. OMG. I would FUMEEEEEEE on some fools. You poor thing. Happy they’re paying you for it. Should probably get free lunch for the rest of time there, too………..Umm & why didn’t I think of sweet potato dip?!?!?!!?

  7. Tops photos Cake. Maybe you were just too angry to well, get angry? Some stuff is just too unbelievable to take in at the time. (Hope you don’t lose your shit at some inappropriate time like, in a meeting in some weird ‘rage postponement event!? 😱😂)

  8. Holy fuck a duck dude. What in hell, no wonder you were beside yourself. It’s that jumpy skin feeling where you can feel your enraged soul seeping out of the humanoid meat case because IT CAN’T CONTAIN ALL THE ANGER RIGHT NOW. They best be paying for that! I love how you can channel all this horrendous into delicous food. You’re clocking life here x

  9. Sorry to read about your car, that really sucks. I would have marched right into the manager and complained there and then, but I sure do understand how you would have been rendered speechless by such a tragic situation. You should still complain, better late than never. Maybe the incompetent idiot has done this before and the restaurant can’t afford such bad publicity. They should fire his ass.
    I made a sweet potato and carrot hummus some time back it was damn good. I just love those crackers on the side, nicely done.

  10. Dip looks great – now sweet potatoes are on my to grow list. Bad about the car ): Totally different situation but some months ago I reversed (possibly at speed) in my drive and bashed into our old landrover. It was fine, my car wasn’t. Turns out the little beepy reversing things don’t get a chance to start to work if you go fast enough. I was pretty angry after that, but at me, which is not so much fun. Are the crackers toasted pita? They look amazing

      1. I thought I mentioned that in my review but it was a while back so I could be wrong. I have just double checked the ingredients list to be sure and there is not a single thing on there that comes from an animal.

  11. Reblogged this on Spicefreak and commented:
    Hey folks, I mentioned my fellow food blogger Dana from I’ve got cake before when I modified her brownie recipe but this time I’m straight up sharing one of her posts.

    You see, I had some friends over for boardgames yesterday, chilli boardgames that you’ll be hearing about soon, and I needed a quick, thematic snack that fit a wide range of dietary requirements.

    The answer? Dana’s sweet potato and sriracha dip, simplified just a step further using a readily available vegan sriracha mayo instead of the regular sauce and a much harder to find vegan version of standard mayonaise.

    It came out smooth, even creamy, and rather delicious, with a nice top of a two out of ten after-heat. It was gone in no time but the recipe remains and is so very simple.

    I’ll let the author fill you in on the rest:

Go on, get it out..

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