I’ve been driving around with a dent in my car.
Some asshole backed into me while my car was parked and left a dent that looked like Bigfoot pushed in my rear quadrant.
Happened about a month ago and I finally got the goddamn thing fixed.
That was on Monday.
Thursday I go out to lunch with a friend, I valet my car.
One of those things you know where there’s room up front so you just park it yourself, right?
So I park my car, I go in for lunch, I eat lunch, I come back out and there’s a fucking dent in my car again!
The exact same spot, the exact same size, but now it’s on the other side.
And I swear to God –
You know I never understood the term, “I was beside myself.”
I never understood what the fuck that meant but… in that moment I got it.
It’s some sort of out of body experience.
I had to look at my license plate like 7 times like there’s no fucking way that’s my car. That can’t be my fucking car.
And I just kept looking down and it…it was my fucking car.
Then I look over at the valet guys, mind you my car is in the exact same spot I parked it in, I look over at the valet guys – and they’re not looking at me.
I came up there like, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR!??!!
I was so flustered, my voice went up like 9 octaves higher. I felt like I was going to faint.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR!!!??!!!!
And they’re all, I don’t know……somebody…. somebody hit it…
And I’m like, WHO hit it????
…..ahhhh si….. I don’t know, they,..we backed it over there and somebody…. somebody hit it.
And they gave me this sheet of paper to fill out, I guess they’re going to pay for it or whatever but what the fuck!
First of all, if you saw the fucking dent in this car, there’s no way these guys didn’t hear it.
And it wasn’t until I drove away that I started thinking about it and I pulled over and I’m looking at it the dent and it’s the exact same shape as the pole in that garage.
So obviously one of those fuckers drove it into a pole.
And then after they drove it into a pole, they put it back in the exact same spot I parked it, no wonder they were fucking looking down when I came out.
I just can’t fucking believe it man, this is so goddamn depressing.
Had this thing fixed for fucking FOUR days and now it’s got another fucking dent in it.
It’s not like when my car didn’t have a dent in it, I started making fun of people who had a dent in their car so now there’s sort of dented car karma going around, christ!
So that’s it.
I have a dent in my car again and it’s so fucking frustrating.
And I’ll tell you what’s extra frustrating is they gave me a piece of paper with some ladys name on it and he’s like, “yeah, if she doesn’t call you in the next five days, give me a call.”
Like I said, I was so beside myself, I actually said ok.
It wasn’t until day three that it hit me like wait a minute – somebody doesn’t call me in the next five days??
How about the next five fucking minutes, fucking idiot, you ruined my car!
And then for some fucking reason you put in back in the same spot and hoped I wouldn’t notice, you 5′ 2″ fucking jackass.
Maybe that’s why he put a dent in it, couldn’t see over the fucking steering wheel!
Alright, let’s move along.
This is what I did with the few sweet potatoes I had left over after I made these Sweet Potato Fries.
Sort of a odd thing right, sweet potato dip?
Sounds like something a vegan would ask for at a cookout while smiling that, I’m sorry I’m so complicated but this is what I expect smile.
Well now you can give that shit eating grin back at her like “here ya go, bitch.”
Spicy Sweet Potato Dip
What I Used.
3-4 med Sweet Potatoes. 1/4 cup Veganese (or some other dairy free form of mayo). 3 tbsp Sriracha Sauce. Chips for dipping.
What I Did.
Preheat your oven to 450F.
Wrap each potato in tin foil and place them on a baking tray.
When the oven is heated, place them on the bottom rack.
Bake for 35 mins or until they can be easily punctured through with a fork.
Set aside to cool.