So over the weekend I watched Suicide Squad and just, ugh.

Against all the reviews, warning me it would be awful, I still went.
But really once I accepted that it was pretty much a comedy with a terrible plot, kinda like a cartoon, once I accepted that I actually enjoyed it.

Because here’s the thing, sometimes I just like to take myself to the movies.

 

Just me myself and I, and normally only during matinee hours.
When there’s like no one in the theater except for maybe 5 people and they’re all spread out.
It’s like having your own private theater in the middle of the day. It’s perfect.

So I went to see Suicide Squad, I think I went to the 3 p.m showing.

I pretty much had the theater to myself except for this couple sitting towards the front which was fine because I chose a seat exactly one row from the back.
So far, so good. No problems, right?

 

So I’m sitting there, through all the previews, all the upcoming features… the lights finally go down and right before the show starts, this guy sits behind me.

I never turned around to get a look at this guy but he just sounded like the biggest mouth breathing moron ever.

He sounded like his diet was horrible, like he just drank and boozed and was having problems breathing.
And then when he laughed, you could just tell –

 

He laughed like, “EHHHH ehhh AH-HUHH ……*heavy breathing*…AH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH!!!!! Uhhhh…. AH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HO!!!!….*heavy breathing….”
Then he’d go, “AHH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUHHHH!!!!………HUUUUU!!!”
That last part sounding like he’s sucking air in, right?

The whole fucking time.

 

And if he’d inhale too much like that, he would cough and I’d feel the wind of it at the back of my neck like every third or fourth cough.

So now I’m totally like leaned forward completely, because I still want to watch the show except now I gotta lean forward like I’m playing catch are on a baseball team but I gotta crank my head up at this weird angle to still see the screen so now my neck is fucking killing me too, right?

I swear to god this guy –
It literally took every fucking skill I had of blocking people out, which my skills are terrible in, to try to make this guy not ruin this already bad movie for me.

 

 

I finally just got up and stormed out, there’s no happy ending to this story.
Here’s more calamari.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fried Calamari with Sriracha Aioli

What  I Used

1 lb Fresh Squid (tubes and tentacles). 2 cups All Purpose Flour. 2 tbsp Sriracha Sauce. Salt. Pepper. Newspaper.

What I Did

Remember a couple weeks ago when I did Grilled Calamari?
Well I didn’t end up using all the calamari and since I know grilled calamari ain’t for everybody, whatever it’s fine, I did a version of the more popular type; Fried Calamari.

On one hand, I can’t remember the last time I deliberately fried something but on the other hand, you gotta break the cycle every once in a while.

Get the evil out of your system.

 

 

Begin by rinsing and pat-drying the squid.
Really try and dry it off so the flour sticks to it later.

Slice the squid tubes in 1/2 in thick or smaller, not quite slicing through to the bottom.
Sprinkle a little salt on the squid and set aside.

Meanwhile prep your frying station; heat the oil in a large pan, add the flour to a med sized bowl.

 

When the oil is piping hot, I know you know how to check for this, add the floured calamari to the pan.

Fry, untouched, until the calamari is dark golden brown.
Remove from oil  and place on newspaper or paper towels  to drain the oil.

Toss with a light sprinkling of salt and pepper.

 

Serve with a 1-2 mixture, sriracha-mayo.
That’s 1 part sriracha, 2 parts mayo.  Nice and smooth.

http://ivegotcake.comdana_fashina_recipeshttp://ivegotcake.com
Sorry for no in-process pictures.
I don’t know what happened.

 

 

fried_calamari_recipeshttp://ivegotcake.com


 

 

Fried Calamari with Sriracha Aioli

1 lb Fresh Squid (tubes and tentacles). 2 cups All Purpose Flour. 2 tbsp Sriracha Sauce. Salt. Pepper. Newspaper.

 

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Rinse and pat-dry the squid. Really try and dry it off
2. Slice the squid tubes (only) in 1/2 in thick or smaller, not quite slicing through to the bottom
3. Sprinkle a little salt on the squid and set aside

4. Meanwhile prep your frying station; heat the oil in a large pan, add the flour to a med bowl

5. When the oil is piping hot, I know you know hot to check for this, add the floured calamari to the pan
6. Fry, untouched, until the calamari is dark golden brown
7. Remove from oil  and place on newspaper or paper towels  to drain the oil

8. Toss with a light sprinkling of salt and pepper.
9. Serve with a 1-2 mixture, sriracha-mayo.
That’s 1 part sriracha, 2 parts mayo. Nice and smooth.
❤ ❤

 

43 Comments

  1. Ewwwww–people are dumb and gross, and how dare that dude ruin your quiet afternoon at the movies! I haven’t gone by myself in a while, mainly because there hasn’t been anything that has compelled me to see it in the theater rather than waiting for the DVD or for it to go on streaming.

    1. Ugh.
      Literally just the biggest mouth breathing moron ever.
      Right fukking behind me!!

      What genre of movie is more your style? Every now and then I’ll watch a good horror movie.
      But only during the day.

      When the sun is still shining and can protect me.

  2. This reminds me of yesterday when this guy decided to pee in the urinal directly next to me when the bathroom was empty. I called him a dumbass and asked why he would pee so close to someone he didn’t know when he could’ve used the bathroom literally anywhere else (because there were 5 urinals and 5 stalls). No response, just a bewildered expression. I think I probably had my “angry black thug” face going.

    Anyway, you ALMOST made me bite my screen. That shit looks so bomb. That sriracha mayo is damn near crack-cocaine. I have three unopened bottles at the crib right now.

    1. I think there are unwritten rules of etiquette when choosing a urinal. Maybe they need to be written.

      1) If you are tall enough, choose one of the higher urinals. This is courtesy for anyone else who may need the lower urinal, and it also provides an ego boost that you are tall enough to use the higher urinal.

      2) Only choose a urinal next to an occupied urinal if there is no other option available.

      3) I think that’s about it.

      1. This is such huge insight, I didn’t even KNOW they made them in different sizes!!!
        That makes perfect sense though, hahaha!!!

        How do you guys feel about the modern urinals when its all just one big trough?

    2. Yoooooo nooooo!!
      Da fuk, that shit is so annoying.
      He probably is an only child. He’s not used to being alone.

      Women do that too. It’s like really? Out of ALL the stalls you wanna blast it out next to mine!!?!

      1. Oh naw. This guy was at least 10 years older than me and I’m 29. So no excuse. And LMAO! I didn’t know women dealt with that too. So ridiculous.

      2. The trough is THE worst. Awful. I don’t want to look at what comes out of ME. That’s bad enough. Sharing with strangers is worse. And there’s no privacy.

        They’ve actually had the troughs at places like sports stadiums for as long as I can remember. Fenway Park at least used to have them.

        Also, this is now possibly the longest conversation I have ever had about urinals. That’s kind of great.

  3. Ugh, how annoying! I swear it’s Murphy’s law that when you go out of your way to sit somewhere alone, people(creepy) will always find you. You should have asked for your money back! lol
    By the way, this calamari looks beyond delicious!

    xo, jackie
    stylemydreams.com

  4. Lmao!!!! I hate loud laughers, breathers, and people who assault your personal space when you deliberately went out of your way to get it. Your description of this guy madder me livid! So fing hilarious. This calamari on the other hand is JUST! I love how you don’t cut all the way through. And the sauce! Your photos are gorg. Perfect dish for the season. Xoxo

  5. Gotta love an unhappy ending Cake. Reminds me of a 15 hour bus trip over 25 years ago in which an pasty, red-haired (no offence to red hair, which I actually love) dude slobbered his arms and legs all over ‘my personal space’, breathing heavily and ‘sniffing back’ mucus the whole trip. Sheer hell. However, deep fried squiddy tentacles would have soothed my battered (😂) soul.

  6. What you should have done is just moved your seat – like five down and to the left (or something) – that’s what I would have done…who cares if you move!? You don’t know that dude or care about him – but then again, since the movie was so bad…maybe leaving was the best option…in any case – you did what was best for you! The calamari, by the way, look perfect…as always! 🙂

  7. Suicide squad was filmed in Toronto, I am really looking forward to seeing it but I’ll wait till it’s on iTunes because I ALWAYS get asshole commentator or stupid sucky kid or dick head chair kicker behind me.
    These calamari look awesome, although I’m off fried food because I’ve reacted so poorly to it recently but I’ll take mine grilled, double that Sriracha sauce tho!

  8. When I was a teen, going to the cinema alone seemed like a fate worse than death but as I grew older, I came to looove it, I love taking myself out, I’m so entertaining after all ( wink!)
    Sorry about your cinema experience, but erm hon, erm since the cinema was pretty empty, why didn’t you just change seats? Have a good week hon ( :

  9. Nasty man. Loud breathers get into the elevator with me at work. I’m like I ain’t doing CPR on this person…. I just ain’t. I have no idea what “Suicide Squad” is, BUT I’m enthralled with your calamari!

    1. Hahahah!
      I just had a visual of a fallen loud breather and you huddled in the corner of the elevator with your eyes tightly shut with an expression of pain on your face, whispering fiercely to yourself that you won’t help but then you crack an eye open to look down and know that you HAVE to and so you let out a string of whispered curses.

      There you are in a tight fall of fury in the corner of a small elevator…

Go on, get it out..

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